Do you remember?~*

Do you remember?


credit to Deviantart.com~*

我會發著呆 然後忘記妳
[I will be staring off into space, then I will forget you]

接著緊緊閉上眼
[And then tightly close my eyes]

想著那一天 會有人代替
[Thinking about that day, when there will be someone who’ll take your place]

讓我不再想念妳
[So that I will not think about you anymore]


-轨迹 by Jay Chou



Suddenly, I had an urge to listen to this song.


Do you still remember?


Just like 'I don't wanna miss a thing' by Aerosmith, '七里香' by Jay Chou etc etc...


They have the ability to dig out my memories and cause such an excruciating pain somewhere really deep in my heart.


Do you still remember?


I associate memories, people with music and songs.

So somehow, I went for a journey back to the past.

The past is really dazzling.
As compared to the present, things couldn't have been more perfect.


We always want to return to the past, when everything seemed strangely perfect.

Maybe yes, maybe no.


But then again, we have to face reality.


What's buried deep in our hearts will remain there forever.


We can never go back ever again.

Occasionally it'll hurt.
Occasionally we'll find ourselves clasping our hands tightly together to wish to return to the past.
Occasionally we'll find tears pricking our eyes.
Occasionally the heart will hurt.


But, all we can do is to wait for the pain to disappear.



Until now,



until now, the pain still doesn't seem to go away.

life and pictures~*

A walk to AJC, accompanied by daybreak...~*

Mood: Exhausted
Music: LIFE by Desree


Did you see my tears in the dark?
The tears which flowed uncontrollably.
The tears. Honest. Bitter. Painful.
In the dark, lonely night.


Alright. I'm here to give a proper update. :)

Life has been BUSY.
Really, really busy.

Though I have absolutely no idea what I was busy doing. =/


1. WENSHI (SSB)'s 18th BIRTHDAY~!

All I can say is that Peiyun, Currypok and I spent about 1/4 of our life searching for her present. (ok. maybe not that long. But still.)


STUPID SSB! >.<

The beautiful card Ruzi made!
Once again, I destroyed it with the horrible 'Sheng ri kuai le' smack right in the middle of the card. ^^;;

The very long note I wrote for Wenshi! haha.

'WS'! Really, it should be 'JS'. =X

SWEETS!!!
Wenshi said they're very nice! haha.
They're Japanese sweets btw. ^_^

Ahem. As for the awful final product, I'll leave it to your imagination! :D

Awww~ Wenshi loves the presents! :D

18 years old already~! haha. OLD ALREADY.
But still, stay youthful, happy, smart, stitch-y, healthy, cute (YUCKS) forever!
Forever 18! hahaha. :D:D
Love you, SSB!!! <3

Loves~* :D
(btw, Ruzi looks like she's biting my finger and I look like I'm biting hers! hahaha.)

2. CLARRISA'S BIRTHDAY LUNCH~~~

Ahhh... for some reasons, my external memory's down. :(

Which means, there are tons of things I can't watch, listen to, post here. :(

I strongly believe in karma, I guess. Because I rmb distinctly that I was laughing at Ruzi for destroying her external memory. >.<

But thank goodness there are still some photos in my phone. :)

Pizza Hut with clique~*
(I realized that my pink water bottle is very eye catching! haha.)

3. Had REEEEAAAALLLLYYYY swollen eyes this morning.

So I was trying not to catch anyone's eyes until afternoon, when my double eyelids come out.
(fyi, my double eyelids come out at noon. ^^;;)

4. Had some GP rally stuff last week (or was it this week???)
Anyway, I belong to the COMMUNIST PARTY~!~!~! (with Wenshi, Samantha, Rina and Cheryl Tang)

Yes! PEACE LAND BREAD!!!

haha. the speech was hilarious, considering how I was trying to be dramatic. Ruzi said I looked like I was presenting OP. XD

But in the end, the SOCIALISTS WON.

Well, socialists and communists promised to share seats. HEH.


We all shared the chips (the prize) in the end. ^_^



5. Had like... 8789750000 tests.

The worst of all is the ESSAY TEST.

Goodness.




6. Went to KFC for lunch with Currypok, Ruzi and Wenshi today~!

Prosperity meal~!~!~!
(Currypok is just extra. HAHA)

The auntie was really really nice to us!
She gave us free refill for our plain water and even offered to help me fill my water bottle. ^_^

Disgusting Ruzi just can't wait to eat.
(and she spoilt the pic)

The chicken! And the 2 original ones are the ones for me. ^_^
The rest are crispy.

Had a really enjoyable time there. haha.
We were crapping and laughing ALL THE TIME.


:D

7. INSTANT NOODLES WITH RUZI~!

FINALLY, I managed to fulfil my promise --- eat instant noodles after school.
It was Tuesday after math extra lessons.

I tell you, I was practically dying already. It was such a long day... lectures... tutorials...

urgh.

So... had to replenish my energy by having instant noodles with RUZI!

My chicken flavoured and Ruzi's seafood flavoured noodles! ^_^

I know. If Junxiu were to see this picture, she would probably be saying, "AIYO! Don't put the chopsticks like that!!!' XDXD

Anw, poor Wenshi had to wait for us. AHAHAHAHA.


Btw, during that time, we kept complaining how sticky we felt cos we had PE in the morning.

And Wenshi said this really funny thing.

Jasmine: Hey. Sweets, anyone?? :)
Ruzi: I want!!!
Wenshi: 吃吃吃。。。都已经那么粘了还吃糖！还嫌不够多蚂蚁吗？！？！？！？！？！
[EAT WHAT EAT. Already so sticky still eat sweets! You want to attract more ants is it?!?!?!?!?!?!]


NO LINK

Totally.



Ruzi and I were stunned for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.


Wenshi must have eaten up her brain.


Then we all started talking illogical things. XD


Jas: 天气都那么热了。。。为什么还不吃辣椒酱？！？！
Wenshi: 我们吃 icecream 吧。因为昨天有做‘摆家乐’。


I forgot what Ruzi said.

But since I can't remember, it's definitely not funny. HAHAHAHAHA! =X




8. CNY IS COMINGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AND I HAVE INTERACT DUTY ON CNY EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



alright.

Doing good deeds on CNY eve is GOOD. :)


Going back to NANHUA???? ^_~




9. I realized that I'll have to be stronger.

Strong enough to allow people to lean on me when they need to.


:)





10. I have to be a little gentler because Viki from Cheshire Home said I'm fierce. T_T


Viki: Jasmine flower! You're fierce, you know?!?!
Jas: FIERCE?!?!?!?! *STARES AT VIKI*
Viki: Yes.... O.O
Jas: Ahem. oh ok fine.
Viki: Jasmine flower? Can help me take iced water? :D
Jas: NO.
Viki: If you help me, I won't call u fierce anymore :D:D


sigh.


Viki: Hey, isn't Jasmine flower the flower which has the ghost?
Jas: Pontianak???
Viki: yes yes!
Jas: nono. that's not jasmine flower.
Viki: But you do look like a pontianak.


SIGH SIGH.

11. Fandom:

I LIKE ARAGAKI YUI A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yui_Aragaki

I mean, she's really really sweet and pretty!

Aragaki Yui~*

I know it sounds crazy but I've been listening to nothing but her songs for quite some time already. haha.

And I'm DEFINITELY watching 'KOIZORA'. :D
(It's coming to Singapore in March!!!)



Random pictures:

Currypok mugging~*
(she fell asleep eventually.)

Waterbottles galore~!
(Ruzi's hand spoilt it again! I have another clearer picture, but it's vertical. :( )

:D~*

Random 2: Went out with Wenshi to look for SIA's birthday present!!!
This is crazy. I've been buying presents for people like there's no tml.
BROKE~!~!~! T_T


Random 3: I. Found. The. Book.

'Catcher In the Rye'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

updates~*

Aragaki Yui~*
新垣結衣

Mood: sleepy...
Music: Heavenly Days by Aragaki Yui (the second song on the playlist)


Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you're not here anymore
I'll walk on under a new light.

-Heavenly Days by Aragaki Yui (Gakki)



1.
I woke up wondering if what happened last night was a dream.
(NO. PLEASE ERASE ALL POSSIBLE R21 SCENES RIGHT NOW)

It's a phone call.

A very significant phone call.


It could've been a dream.
Because it was too good to be true.


We were both searching for something then.
Perhaps, searching for something that would never change.

We both knew we hurt each other deeply.
But yet, now, we can talk about it so easily.

Laughter.
Words.
Smiles.

They all came so easily.


For this, I thank you. :)

If it were a dream, I'd rather not wake up.



2.

I've been putting Gakki's songs on repeat the entire day.

Her album 'Sora' is really good.

It's so relaxing, so soothing.

And strangely, it brings me back to the past.


The good ol' days. :)



3.

I was at a food court with my mum just now, after my piano lesson.

At Pepper Lunch Express,

Jas: Salmon Pepper Rice please. :)
Stall owner (male, 20 plus?): ok. EH? How come you're buying another set?
Jas: sorry?? O.o;;
Stall owner: Well, just now you came to order one set, right? O.O
Jas: ????????? Nono... I just came here. O.O;;;
Stall owner: NONO. I swear you came! the girl looked EXACTLY like you, wearing the SAME shirt, SAME specs, SAME hairstyle as you ordered the SAME thing.


The girl came from the parallel universe, maybe?

But it's weird. O.o




4.

I'm a firm believer of miracles.


Basically, they're everywhere.
All around us. It's just up to you to notice them. :)



5.

Chinese New Year is coming~!~!

I think I really need this break.

It's only January but I already feel like breaking down.
There's so much to do, so little time...
My motivation to go to school is just to look forward to Saturday. (and of course, friends. :))
But it's really sad.




6.

I'm starting to enjoy going to Cheshire Home after being displaced from DAYBREAK.
Especially the company of Viki and friends. :)
and CREATIVE time. :)

Viki: *points to Rina* are you from China? You look like you're from China!
Rina: ^^;; no... I'm a local.
Viki: *points to Pei Rong* you're from China too right???
PR: NO LA!!! XD
Viki: *points to me* YOU!
Jas: China????
Viki: No. Hong Kong.
Jas: ???????


another one to add to my already-very-long list of 'Which country do I look like I come from'.

^^;;



7.

Valentine's Day is coming too~!

BUT, it's going to be another year spent without a partner.

*shakes head*



8.

It's 12.54AM.


Which means... tml is MONDAY again. *GROANS*



9.

Fandom:

NEWS' new song 'TAIYOU NO NAMIDA' IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. :D

It's for Yamapi's new movie 'Kurosagi'.

Please go and listen to it! It's nice nice nice~~~!



Fandom 2:

I'm definitely going to watch 'KOIZORA'.

Starring Aragaki Yui!

and 'Heavenly Days' is one of the songs for the movie. ^_^

It's actually a very sad movie, if I'm not wrong.




Random:

I'VE NEVER REBONDED MY HAIR BEFORE.

there.

Many people have been asking me the same question whether I rebonded my hair before or not.

So the ans is NO.

hahaha. Must've been because my hair's SO THICK and ROUGH.
Well, I really think my hair looks like HAY and TOILET BRUSH at the same time.
-___-



alright. thanks for reading till the very end. :)


(photos couldn't be uploaded cos my com cant recognize the external drive. #$@#$@%*&#$%*#.... )



GOODNIGHT!

no.

GOOD MORNING~!~!

SICK!!!~*

Joyce's birthday last year! :)

And my hat makes me look hilarious.

Mood: T_T
Music: Hanashitaku wa nai by T-Bolan
(this is one VERY VERY old song. But it's beautiful. :))


If we were to walk in the shoes of someone else throughout the person's life, everything would then make sense to you, even though they may not be right.




I'M REALLY SICK.


So I really shouldn't be sitting here.
I can feel my temperature rising. ^_^;;


I had a sudden urge to blog.


Like when you hear something, see something which triggers your waterfall of emotions...

and you have a sudden urge to cry.



1. I'm running a fever, having swollen upper lips (so suddenly, my lips look very pouty and sexy. AHAHA. KIDDING.), TWO really awful ulcers, a sorethroat (T_T), a toothache, sore muscles from tues' 2.4km run.

I really feel like dying.


Practically dragged myself everywhere and willed myself to try and listen to the lecturer during lectures.

Sigh. Oh, and I missed PE, for the first time in many many years.

So, you can tell how serious it is. T_T




2. I guess no one could tell I was REALLY SICK because I looked fine on the outside.


I always do.



3. Happy belated birthday CLARRISA!
(photos will be uploaded next time)

I bet she must've enjoyed her birthday a lot. :)
(cos of my handmade card, EH?)

Girl, you're really loved. :)



4. I told you, haven't I, that FATE has a sick sense of humour sometimes.

Sometimes, you really don't understand what's going on with your life.
One moment you can be really happy, the next moment you feel like someone just trampled on all your happiness.


I don't know.


But things happen all the time.
Random things.


We just have to live with the randomness of it all.




5. I think what Sing Hun said makes lots of sense.

"There will come a day..."




6. Junxiu: You're too mature.

Me? haha no...

I just use my brain at all the wrong things. Waste my braincells at the trivial things that no one else notices. Spends my energy worrying/brooding about everything and anything in the world...


In fact, I think I'm childish.

The way I view certain things.


As much as I like to say I distrust people, I actually do give my 100% trust to people sometimes.

Naive?

I get hurt again and again, and when I told myself, I'll give this person only 30% of my trust, I end up trusting the person entirely again.

And then?

Get myself hurt again.




7. Everything bad that happen in your life happen for a reason.

And guess what, we, ourselves, are always part of the reason.



8. I'm blabbering nonsense.

My brain is probably burning now.


T_T


Alright. I'm going to take a nap now.

Hopefully, I'll still be alive tml. ^^;;



Random:

1. REMEE! YES HEARD THE NEW NEWS SONG! :D:D what do you think of it? I think it's really nice! :D

2. THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG, people. :) I'll reply tags next time!!
(although it's really not interesting. ^^;;)

3. Received a present from DAYBREAK. :D:D

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections

Dissociative Identity Disorder~*

There are times when I wonder if I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder.


A part of me wants to do things right.

She is happy.
She is satisfied with her life.
She laughs and jokes with all her friends.
Nothing seems to bother her.
She feels like she can move on with her head held high.
She pushes the worries aside and enjoys life.



The other part of me thinks nothing can ever be right.

She paints a picture black and white, with occasional streaks of blood red.
She watches the world with her cold eyes.
She wishes to distrust everybody, even herself.
She hides in a corner and keeps everything to herself.
Life is never good to her.
Her very own existence disturbs her.



I think it's ridiculous. The way my brain works.




by the way, sometimes, all we need is an answer, no matter how painful it might be.



Don't we?

Songs which mean a lot...~*

Mood: Grateful
Music: 自分のために　by TOKIO

We have too much to be grateful for...


No matter how much I said 'Life Sucks' in the past, I've come to understand that even as lousy as life seems to me at the moment, I still have a lot to be grateful for.

Sometimes, before I sleep every night, I'll review on the day, and feel really thankful for the many things I'm blessed with, even if I actually don't own a lot.



(Music changed to AMBITIOUS JAPAN! by TOKIO)


This song makes me really 元気. :)


I bet everyone has a song which means a lot to them.

Be it the song you heard when you were a child,
or a song you heard when you broke up with your gf/bf.

Everyone has a song or two which has the ability to bring back memories.



For me, EVERY song i've heard so far can remind me of the situation I was in when I first listened to it.

For example,

1. Who... by Ayumi is the number one emotional song for me.
It brings back memories when I had a major fight with Karen for some stupid reason.
And the time when I left Rulang for Nanhua.
How lost, insecure, unhappy I was.

I used to cry a lot just by listening to this song.
I listened to it while studying for O's too


2. Open up your Mind by Mirai (Saiyuki OST)
I'll remember the time I studied for my History plus Physics paper.
I used to break down a lot just listening to it.

Simply because it's a song about strength.


3. Sore ga, ai deshou? by Mikuni Shimokawa (Full Metal Panic Fumoffu op. song)
It reminds me of the holidays after Sec 3 EOY exam.
All the class outings, outings with friends, IMM...
And the time I was so obsessed over animes.

this song makes me smile a lot. :)


4. Seishun Amigo by Shuji to Akira
ahhh. The time when we went back to sch for choir ROD.
and the rest of June Holidays when I was in sec 4.

hahaha. the batman song, yeeyan. =X


5. Bold and Delicious by Ayumi
HAHAHAHAHA. this song makes me really high.
It was during the sec 3 EOY hols too.



see? I bet everyone has songs like that, which mean a lot to them.



No matter how strong we think we are,
human beings are actually very fragile.

because we have emotions.



althought i've only lived for 16 plus years, it feels as if i've lived for half a CENTURY (people who caught my previous mistake STOP LAUGHING ALREADY!) already.
It's really a miracle how people can live till 80 plus 90.
All the emotional torture, physical pain...



The possibility of shattering just by listening to hurtful words.
the process of growing up and becoming stronger by being hurt and hurting others.



how many more times must we be hurt?



how many more times must we hurt others?




is that the only way to grow up?




Well, anyway, i'm going back to school later to purchase AJ uniform.
sigh. さよなら　nanhua uniform. T^T


After that it's class outing.


but bowling?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
*foresees me throwing gutter balls*


誰か，助けてください！！！！！！！>.<


Fine. 青春 is all about humiliating oneself. haha.



so じゃあ! ^_^