真夏の通り雨~*

This song. (finally located the full video - I missed her.)

Out of breath in a battle I can't win 
If I forget the days when I burned with love for you, 
I won't be me 

Tell me the correct way to say farewell

(source)

Life's for the living~*

Such a lovely song, with tattoo-worthy lyrics (those five lines, in particular).


Well grey clouds wrapped round the town like elastic
Cars stood like toys made of Taiwanese plastic
The boy laughed at the spastic dancing around in the rain

While laundrettes cleaned clothes, high heals rub toes
Puddles splashed huddles of bus stop crows
Dressed in their suits and their boots well they all look the same

I took myself down to the cafe to find all the boys lost in books and crackling vinyl
And carved out a poem above the urinal that read

Don't you cry for the lost 
Smile for the living 
Get what you need and give what you're given 
Life's for the living so live it 
Or you're better off dead  

While the evening pulled the moon out of it's packet
Stars shone like buttons on an old man's jacket
We needed a nail but we tacked it 'til it fell off the wall

While pigeon's pecked trains, sparks flew like planes
The rain showed the rainbows in the oil stains
And we all had new iPhones but no one had no one to call

And I stumbled down to the stomach of the town
Where the widow takes memories to slowly drown
With a hand to the sky and a mist in her eye she said

Don't you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you're given
Life's for the living so live it
Or you're better off dead

Well I'm sick of this town, this blind man's forage
They take your dreams down and stick them in storage
You can have them back son when you've paid off your mortgage and loans

Oh hell with this place, I'll go it my own way
I'll stick out my thumb and I trudge down the highway
Someday someone must be going my way home

Till then I'll make my bed from a disused car
With a mattress of leaves and a blanket of stars
And I'll stitch the words into my heart with a needle and thread

Don't you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you're given
You know life's for the living so live it
Or you're better off dead

Voices & Music~*

Was watching some clips from BBC Children in Need Rocks 2013, a fundraising concert which took place from 12-13 Nov.

Some of my recent favourites were performed, which got me really excited.

1. Keane's 'Everybody's Changing' - Love Tim (the pianist/keyboardist/synthesiserist (is there such a word?)). He never fails to capture my attention when they perform this song. And the song has such amazing chords! (they performed 'Somewhere Only We Know' too!)

Speaking of Keane, I've been putting 'The Best of Keane' (their new CD!) on repeat for the past few days... In fact, I've been listening to them almost every day on my way to work, and every evening on my way home. Crazily addicted.




2. Ellie Goulding's 'Burn' -  This song powers me up early in the morning. Hell yeah.

 

When the lights turned down 
They don't know what they heard 
Strike a match
Play it loud 
Giving love to the world 

We'll be raising out hands 
Shining up to the sky 
Cos we got the fire, fire, fire 
Yeah we got the fire, fire, fire 

And we gonna let it burn burn burn burn 
We gonna let it burn burn burn burn 

3. Passenger's 'Let Her Go' - something slow and melancholic... and towards the end, the audience was singing along with him and boy, that gave me goosebumps.



Well, you only need the light when it's burning low, 
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow, 
Only know you love her when you let her go. 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low 
Only hate the road when you're missing home. 
Only know you love her when you let her go, 
And you let her go

~*~*~*

The power of music - ability to triple your heartbeat, to reach into the deepest corner of your heart, to make tears flow, to make you feel like dancing (even when you don't know how), to give you an adrenalin rush, to call up memories of all sorts (experiences, people whom you thought you've long forgotten)...

Music.
Something absolutely essential to keep me alive.

The problematic being~*

source

Tinkling softly. 

"As long as there's such thing as time, everybody's damaged in the end, changed into something else. It always happens, sooner or later."

"But even if that happens, you've got to have a place you can retrace your steps to."

"A place you can retrace your steps to?"

"A place that's worth coming back to."

...

"When I was 15," Miss Saeki says with a smile, "all I wanted was to go off to some other world, a place beyond anybody's reach. A place beyond the flow of time."

"But there's no place like that in this world."

"Exactly. Which is why I'm living here, in this world where things are forever being damaged, where the heart is fickle, where time flows past without a break."

- Murakami Haruki, Kafka on the Shore

Happy sigh.

Such beautiful things that he writes. 

Discontented sigh.

I can't read in Japanese... I bet the words are even more elegant in Japanese. 

On a sidenote, 

Murakami is being named as the most likely author to clinch this year's Nobel Prize for Literature (AGAIN. I reckon I've written that sentence many, many times! Nevertheless, I'm still feeling excited for him.). 

And I'm also waiting patiently for his new novel 'Colourless Tasaki Tsukuru and the Year of His Pilgrimage' to be translated to English.

Oh, and Ruth Ozeki's 'A Tale for the Time Being' (yes, the one I kept raving on in some of my recent entries) was also nominated for Man Booker Prize! 

T's lovely birthday presents for me :)
Murakami & Ozeki heh

~*~*~*

"Life is funny."

I've heard this comment many times, said/muttered by different people. 

Because there's simply no way to anticipate what's going to happen next,

the oddest, most peculiar and remarkable incidents occur...

While some discoveries can be really awesome, others are just plain awful. 

B told me that she doesn't really plan very far ahead... because it's usually pointless.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow? 

Indeed, who knows?

Do you? 

The people who enter your life suddenly.

The unplanned occurrences.

The spontaneous things we do, on impulse. 

So interesting.

Yet.

There's a subtle sense of loneliness when the euphoria subsides... 

~*~*~*

Your angel-demon.

Half angel, half demon.

"I can relate to that. We're all like that."

With half of my face hidden in the shadows. 

Somehow, I'm reminded of the

Comedy and Tragedy masks.

~*~*~* 

X introduced me to Ingrid Michaelson.

I've heard of her for some time, but haven't gotten round to listen to her songs.

Now that I've done that,

I'm hooked.

~*~*~*

Something pristine. 

Absolutely untouched, pure and perfect. 

Something you will want to protect.

As opposed to a tainted, damaged entity. 

A messy footpath; a canvas covered with angry streaks. 

"It doesn't matter how I treat him/her because he/she is probably damaged beyond repair."

Do you say this to yourself? 

People don't usually like ugly things, do they?

~*~*~*
Went back to listen to Mindy Gledhll...

Always overwhelmed with emotions when I listen to this song.
Resonates so deeply with me..

I'm a feather in the wind 

I'm up and then I'm down again 

and all the places I have been 

to heavens gate and 'round the bend 

Things are never what 

They appear to be 

'Cause everybody's trying to grab a hold of me 

So catch me if you can 

Set me free again 

Like a feather in the wind 

I'm a reflection in the glass 

'Cause I cant keep from looking back 

And all the pages that I lack 

Are stuck inside a broken past 

Things are never what 

They appear to be 

So I'll dig a little deeper 

Than what the eye can see

And if anybody asks 

Making friends at last 

With my reflection in the glass 

I'm softer than a bride in white 

But I'm tough enough to fight my own fight 

Sometimes higher than a quivering kite 

More lowly than a beggars plight 

Like a fire in the night 

I'm burnin up with all my might 

Don't wanna flicker out of sight 

Fade into the morning light 

Things are never what 

They appear to be 

Cause only time will tell when I'm ashes at your feet 

So when I'm burnin bright 

Let me be your light 

Like a fire in the night

Things are never what 

They appear to be 

So many different pieces 

Make up the whole of me 

So hold me in your hands 

Take me as I am 

'Cause I'm a feather 

I'm a reflection 

I'm a fire in your direction 

I'm unruly 

I'm undone 

So just love me as I come

- Mindy Gledhill, Feather in the Wind

Will you still love someone who's tainted in her own ways...? 

Fundamentally flawed. 

~*~*~*

Reflections. Directions. 

I was riding in a train one morning.
As the train was horribly packed, I was forced to a corner, facing the glass next to the door (awkward position, I know).
Being really bored (no space to even reach for my phone or read my book), I busied myself by staring at the passing scenery reflected on the glass.

It's fascinating.
Because if you stare at it long and hard enough, you can actually deceive yourself into believing that the train is travelling in the opposite direction.

So where are you heading towards, really?

~*~*~*

It's a gift to possess a simple and straightforward way of thinking.

Always go with the simplest, most parsimonious way of explanation - Occam's Razor.

If you're not good enough, you're not good enough. 

~*~*~*

There are words stuck in my throat, and at my fingertips.

Some things just cannot be verbalised and concretised.
Because when they do, they just don't seem to make much sense.

I can be irrational at times.
Rationalising things in my own way, comforting myself, deceiving myself.

Self-defense mechanism.
One of the ineffective kinds.

~*~*~*

Negative as I am,
I won't forget to count my blessings.

Lost as I am,
there are still people there to anchor me, to guide me, to make me smile, and make me feel sane, amidst all the insanity going on around me...

I'm grateful.

Thank you all (you know who you are).

~*~*~*

What a long entry...

In summary,

I'm exhausted;
I'm scared;
I'm confused;
I'm cautious;
I'm bruised;
I'm uncertain...

but

I will walk on;
I will hold on;
I will (try and) be stronger.

Trying to be...
Being... 

Thesis woes...~*

I know I'm supposed to do up a nice and not-so-wordy entry on my HK trip but unfortunately, I've been spending the past few days (and many more to go) testing the limits of my poor brain :(

Read articles after articles and found nothing very useful... so I finally gave up and travelled to the school library.
Spent hours bent over stacks of books and borrowed a few home.
Only after I reached home did I realize that to my utmost horror (I should've realized earlier but I'm apparently not very alert), the VERY CRUCIAL PAGES OF THAT BOOK WHICH COULD POTENTIALLY SAVE MY BRAIN FROM FURTHER TORTURE WERE TORN OUT!
@#*$&#@*$^!*(@&w@d^8!!
I guess I did pull out a couple of strands of hair.

Anyway, after that, it was pulling out more hair from reading the books, searching for more journal articles from the online library database, scrutinizing and analyzing the hypothesized model, picking out problems here and there, feeling frustrated, deflated, looking harder, searching deeper, emailing Prof many times (I'm one darn annoying student)... dumping out thoughts on Word... and finally deciding that I'm DONE and then shutting the laptop for the day.

and that repeated for the past few days.

And it will continue for many more... T.T

Well, you see, I've run into a roadblock and I'm contemplating how to get to the other side.
Major, MAJOR changes were made to my initial model and now, it doesn't seem very logical to me.

Now, I think I'm starting to understand what Prof T meant when he said, "You think about your thesis when you are eating, when you are bathing... you even dream about your thesis when you sleep. It will always be on your mind." (well, something along that line)

Anyway, this is merely the beginning.... (but undeniably the most crucial part of the whole process)
PRESS ON. HANG ON!!



Oh, and my timetable is finalized!
3 modules, 3-day week!
And I've got 6pm-9pm class on Friday night.... no more TGIF for me!!!

some random pics:

happy graduation lovelies! :)

The Beatles! 

Pretty night scenery of HK 

 resonates.

(amber, does it? anyway, christina is damn hot!)

Young girl, don't cry

I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl, it's alright

Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room, you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Young girl, just hold tight

Soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you look outside, look inside to your soul

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

If you will learn to begin to trust the voice within

Life is a journey

It can take you anywhere you choose to go

As long as you're learning

You'll find all you'll ever need to know

(Be strong)

You'll break it

(Hold on)

You'll make it

(Be strong)

Just don't forsake it because

(Hold on)

(No one can tell you what you can't do)

No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl, don't cry, I'll be right here

When your world starts to fall

- Christina Aguilera 'The Voice Within'  

Noah's Ark~*

I know I'm slow to post this.
Anyway, after watching it on MTV channel many months back, I kind of half fell in love with it.
After singing it with the girls at TH a few days ago, I kind of fully fell in love with it.

Maybe at that moment when I first heard it, I hadn't taken the effort to fully understand the lyrics.
Now that I have, it makes the song all the more beautiful.
Towards the end of the song, I've got goosebumps all over.

If,
if 20/12/2012 really marks the end of the world, 
what would you do on that very fateful day...? 


 

再见 草莓甜甜圈 街角咖啡店 落下雨点

再见 黑白老照片 回忆电影院 埋进地面

再见 我们初识的那个公园 那天是谁先吻了谁 被谁遗忘的秋千

再见 那麼多名车名表名鞋 最后我们只能带走 名为回忆的花园

如果要告别 如果今夜就要和一切告别 

如果你只能打一通电话 你会拨给谁

晚安 鹦鹉和孔雀 花豹和人类 望著海面 

晚安 底片和唱片 沉浮在浪间 就像诗篇 

晚安 自由女神漂到华尔街 我们在甲板上摸到杜拜塔顶的塔尖 

晚安 海豚跃出西藏的屋檐 原来幻想中的这天会比幻想更唯美

还是要告别 还是放弃海拔以下的世界 

你会装进什麼回忆纪念 在行李里面 

终於要告别 终於没有更多的明天要追 

你有什麼遗憾依然残缺 还没有完美 

当彗星燃烧天边 陨石像雨点 

当辐射比阳光还要炽烈 

让爱变得浓烈 当每段命运 更加壮烈 

当永远变成一种遥远 

当句点变成一种观点 

让人类终於变成同类

勇敢的告别 

勇敢地向过去和未来告别 

告别每段血缘身分地位 聪明或愚昧 

最后的告别 

最后一个心愿是学会高飞 飞在不存在的高山草原 星空和蓝天 

让 诺亚方舟 航向了 海平线 

让 诺亚方舟 航向了 换日线 

让 诺亚方舟 航向了 天际线 

让 诺亚方舟 航向了 无限

BENI~*

My new eye-candy who's not just an 'eye-candy'.

Beni Arashiro aka BENI

photo credit

yes, she can sing very well.

When I first listened to her, her voice had such a significant impact on me that it resulted in a 'sugar-rush' which gradually turned into the tingling, warm and fuzzy sensation that I have whenever I chance upon something I really like. 

In fact, I might start to like R&B. 

A few songs are never enough to justify how well she can sing. Go youtube her! :)

Five~*

All 5 PVs of her latest mini album 'Five' are released.
And guess what (no surprises here), they are all very unique and original.
You see, Ayu never stops producing songs and videos of very high standards and I can say likewise for this album too.
But the thing is, I have my own preference too.
So I shall post my top 3, out of the 5. :)

3. BRILLIANTE. 
you'll love this if you love Goth or Egyptian or a bunch of MUSCLE-MEN.
Personally, I think the song is haunting. And of course, the ending of the pv.


BRILLANTE from Jester_Mizuno on Vimeo.

2. Progress
Nice song (for a new game), interesting video, but it gets a little boring after a while.
But nevertheless, the effect is pretty cool.


progress from Jester_Mizuno on Vimeo.


1. Why... feat Juno
Why feature him??? I don't know. But there are 2 collaborations with him in this album.
I've not nothing against him but I'd love to hear her sing this alone too.
Anyway, beautiful PV and this is probably my favourite song from this album. :)


Why...feat. JUNO from Jester_Mizuno on Vimeo.


I'm so not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be buried in my bio psych text.

shit.

Gravity~*

This music video gave me goosebumps.
One of the most beautiful (and amazingly ingenious) videos I've watched.
Let's see if you understand what is it trying to portray ;)

and of course, the song itself is amazing. :) (1st song in my current playlist)


Gravity by Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do 
I'll still feel you here till the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. 
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me
and all over...

Something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long

Tomorrow, I'll join hands with you~*

'明日、キミと手をつなぐよ' by ももちひろこ

the full version of the song is the 4th song in my playlist. enjoy :)

Feather in the Wind~*

how can you not fall in love with this song?

Mindy Gledhill - Feather in the Wind

I'm a feather in the wind

I'm up and then I'm down again
And all the places I have been
To heaven's gates and 'round the bend

But things are never what they appear to be
'Cause everybody´s trying to grab a hold of me
So catch me if you can
Set me free again
Like a feather in the wind

I'm a reflection in the glass
'Cause I can't keep from looking back
I know the pieces that I left
Are stuck inside a broken past

Things are never what they appear to be
So I'll dig a little deeper
Than what the eye can see
And if anybody asks
I'm making friends at last
With my reflection in the glass

I´m softer than a bride in white
But I´m tough enough to fight my own fight
Sometimes higher than a quivering kite
More lowly than beggars plight

Like a fire in the night
I´m burning up with all my might
Don´t wanna flicker out of sight
Fade into the morning light

Things are never what
They appear to be
Couse only time will tell when
I´m ashes at your feet
So when I´m burning bright
Let me be your light
Like a fire in the night

Things are never what
They appear to be
So many different pieces
Make up the whole of me

So hold me in your hands
Take me as I am
´Cause I´m a feather
I´m a reflection
I´m a fire in your direction
I´m unruly
I´m undone
So just love me as I come

Live and let die~*

"When we were young,
and your heart was an open book,
we used to say 'Live and Let Live'...

You know you did
You know you did
You know you did

But if this ever-changing world
in which we live in
makes you give in and cry
say 'Live and Let Die'..."


- 'Live and Let Die' by Paul McCartney and Wings.

I've always had my own interpretation of what it means to live and let die,
as opposed to live and let live.



in an odd way, I find the former highly alluring in a very very dark way, while the latter is really what I always tell myself and the people around me, and which is, in my opinion, the way we should all live.





well, no matter how I interpret it,

the one concrete conclusion I can draw is that Paul McCartney really writes goooooood stuff. :)

Norwegian Wood~*

"It was announced in July 2008 that Tran Anh Hung would direct an adaptation of the novel. The film stars Kenichi Matsuyama[[1]][[2]] as Watanabe, Rinko Kikuchi[[3]] [[4]] as Naoko and Kiko Mizuhara [[5]] [[6]] as Midori, and is expected to be released in autumn 2010."

-Wikipedia

NORWEGIAN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY FAVOURITE NOVEL IS GOING TO BE ON THE BIG SCREEN IN 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the cast:



Rinko Kikuchi as NAOKO

Kiko Mizuhara as MIDORI

AND...

Kenichi Matsuyama as TORU WATANABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ok. I'm definitely going to catch it. And be very critical about the film. XD

~*

NORWEGIAN WOOD - by The Beatles

I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me...
She showed me her room, isn't it good, norwegian wood?

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere,
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine, 
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown

So I lit a fire, isn't it good, norwegian wood.

~*

well, this song is about lesbians and in the end, the girl set fire to that girl's house as a form of revenge. 

LOL. 

Songs which mean a lot...~*

Mood: Grateful
Music: 自分のために　by TOKIO

We have too much to be grateful for...


No matter how much I said 'Life Sucks' in the past, I've come to understand that even as lousy as life seems to me at the moment, I still have a lot to be grateful for.

Sometimes, before I sleep every night, I'll review on the day, and feel really thankful for the many things I'm blessed with, even if I actually don't own a lot.



(Music changed to AMBITIOUS JAPAN! by TOKIO)


This song makes me really 元気. :)


I bet everyone has a song which means a lot to them.

Be it the song you heard when you were a child,
or a song you heard when you broke up with your gf/bf.

Everyone has a song or two which has the ability to bring back memories.



For me, EVERY song i've heard so far can remind me of the situation I was in when I first listened to it.

For example,

1. Who... by Ayumi is the number one emotional song for me.
It brings back memories when I had a major fight with Karen for some stupid reason.
And the time when I left Rulang for Nanhua.
How lost, insecure, unhappy I was.

I used to cry a lot just by listening to this song.
I listened to it while studying for O's too


2. Open up your Mind by Mirai (Saiyuki OST)
I'll remember the time I studied for my History plus Physics paper.
I used to break down a lot just listening to it.

Simply because it's a song about strength.


3. Sore ga, ai deshou? by Mikuni Shimokawa (Full Metal Panic Fumoffu op. song)
It reminds me of the holidays after Sec 3 EOY exam.
All the class outings, outings with friends, IMM...
And the time I was so obsessed over animes.

this song makes me smile a lot. :)


4. Seishun Amigo by Shuji to Akira
ahhh. The time when we went back to sch for choir ROD.
and the rest of June Holidays when I was in sec 4.

hahaha. the batman song, yeeyan. =X


5. Bold and Delicious by Ayumi
HAHAHAHAHA. this song makes me really high.
It was during the sec 3 EOY hols too.



see? I bet everyone has songs like that, which mean a lot to them.



No matter how strong we think we are,
human beings are actually very fragile.

because we have emotions.



althought i've only lived for 16 plus years, it feels as if i've lived for half a CENTURY (people who caught my previous mistake STOP LAUGHING ALREADY!) already.
It's really a miracle how people can live till 80 plus 90.
All the emotional torture, physical pain...



The possibility of shattering just by listening to hurtful words.
the process of growing up and becoming stronger by being hurt and hurting others.



how many more times must we be hurt?



how many more times must we hurt others?




is that the only way to grow up?




Well, anyway, i'm going back to school later to purchase AJ uniform.
sigh. さよなら　nanhua uniform. T^T


After that it's class outing.


but bowling?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
*foresees me throwing gutter balls*


誰か，助けてください！！！！！！！>.<


Fine. 青春 is all about humiliating oneself. haha.



so じゃあ! ^_^