Mood: exhausted.
Music: End of the World by Ayumi Hamasaki
When you see someone worse off than you
you feel a little relieved.
When you see someone happier than you
you quickly become impatient.
But sometimes you
realize just how pitiful you are
and you crash into reality.
What should I think?
What should I say?
You're probably the
first person who has
tried to understand me.
It must be impossible to live
without hurting anyone.
If you think you're such a victim,
then you should act out until the end
this pretense of not caring about losing everything.
What do you wish for tomorrow?
Sometime please tell me if you
think you can get through this
interminable night that continues
in darkness.
What should I think?
What should I say?
I don't even know if you understand
that I'm praised,
that I'm envied.
What should I think?
What should I say?
You're probably the only
one who really
understands me.
(End of the World by Ayu)
goodness. It has been like 100000 years since I last listened to this song.
I can still remember when I listened to it last time, I was in the slump.
Like trapped in a world of my own. It was horrible.
And this song really reflected what I was feeling then.
Angst. Frustration. Confusion. Fear. Hopelessness.
Human beings never want to know the reality.
Because they're afraid of losing the innocence they have.
And losing faith in the dreams they've been holding on for so long.
Why do people judge things by the surface?
I wish everyone can look deeper into things.
Perhaps, perhaps, they'll find things that have never been there before.
Had physics prac this morning.
I totally screwed up the circuit question, cos I moved the wrong wire.
oh well.
Wasted approximately 3 plus hours being quarantined.
Well, at least I did get some studying done.
haha. Except the last part when pei rong, serene, joyce, yeeyan and I went nuts guessing the ranking of countries based on their development.
ok. well, this week's gonna be a hectic one.
Cos one week later is PRELIMS.
I've never been so sure that I would not do well in an exam.
It's no point trying to enter a JC in the first three months already.
Anyway, about the viewing things by surface, I'm actually referring to exam marks.
No matter how many times I convince myself
Come on, 10 years down the road, nobody cares if you failed your A Math exam or not.
But you still feel that you ought to buck up and do better.
Maybe it's just the country that we live in.
Marks oriented.
Superficial idiots. (us. really)
Then ask me what am I doing here actually. haha.
So what if we have dreams, hopes for the future?
They're all just impossible dreams that exist only in a surreal world, no?
My dreams are all the impossible ones.
We're really pathetic people who can only dream.
I like the username 'Surreal Jas'
If only Jasmine (me) is just another non-existent character living in a surreal world.
I was flipping through my stuff and this quote caught my eye.
"Life is a game. Choose to win."
Do we seriously have a choice?
So many people are diagnosed with various diseases a day.
Did they have a choice?
Hundreds of people die across the world due to accidents.
They didn't have a choice.
Thousands live in poverty, with no food, no drinks, no nothing.
Did they choose to lead a life like this?
However, no matter how hopeless our lives may be, how winding is the road we're walking on,
there's always a way out.
"In the end, everything will be okay. If they are not okay, it's not the end."
We may not have the ability to change our fate, or what we're destinied to do,
we have the ability to choose to lose beautifully (get what I mean? lol)
We, to other people, might not be a winner, but to ourselves, as long as we've lived to the best that we could, we've won.
Even if we cant win, in the end, we can choose to lose beautifully.
For the people who are diagnosed with diseases,
they might not win the battle in the end, but by living the remaining of their lives to the fullest, they've lost beautifully.
I really don't know what I was talking about.
lol.
Anyway, these days, I realized I have been runnin into my ex-classmates and friends from pri. school.
Lee Koon. Alan. Wan Ling. Haiyuan.
and suddenly, I realized time really flies.
Yes time does fly.
Soon, when I look back at this entry, I would laugh at myself.
"Haha. To think you're still worrying about PRELIMS when I've finished O's"
I hope that day would come quickly.
Buck up, Jas!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Updates~*
Mood: hmm... was probably at the darkest part of my life
Music: Kimi Dake Ni by Shounentai (yes this song is ancient. Like in the 80s. but it's still nice)
The night has the starry sky
The ocean has the wind
To embrace
But I was born
Only to embrace you
If I gaze at you, within my heart
Stars swirl into spirals, and turn into a galaxy
...because I love you
-Lyrics to Kimi Dake Ni
ok. ask me why I was in the slump for the past few days.
I'm not sure why, but I had huge fights with practically everyone in my family.
First was my mother, over some stupid issue about eating dinner or smthg like that.
Then it was with my sister, over using some shampoo.
You feel that everyone knows you and you know everyone, but suddenly, they just seem like strangers.
That's when you feel that everyone in your life is probably like this.
It's pretty sad isn't it? That it's perhaps impossible to find someone who truly knows you inside out, except yourself. It's lonely.
Alright, let me talk about the past week.
Mon:
Had history CT (last paper) and O 'lvl Eng Oral.
The eng oral was a killer. Every other class commented theirs was easy.
But ours was soo hard! And the examiners... they... haix.
I screwed up picture. Totally. I wasn't even sure what I was talking about. And I panicked.
Examiner: What do you think the woman on the right is feeling?
(she’s reading newspaper)
Me: Err.. she must have read some really bad news as she looks concerned and upset.
… It doesn’t make a single sense, does it? haha
They asked us really weird questions and some of us couldn’t even answer.
But at least FINALLY, it’s over.
Tuesday: I can’t really remember. But I guess it’s just normal school day.
Wednesday: Had PE. It was really fun! Most of the girls were playing netball together. And it was great! It’s probably the longest PE lesson we’ve had cos we played till 10.10 when our recess is at 10.00. There were some really hilarious parts. And at the last part, Pei Hua managed to score a goal. =)
Thursday: In the morning, Ivan, Darrel, Nicholas, Pei Hua, Serene and I were like trying to do this ‘Spot the Difference’ in the newspaper cos Ivan wanted to send it in to win a pair of shoes. Haha. They were hilarious and pointed out all the ridiculous differences. But serene, Joyce and I managed to find 3. haha. But they insisted the last one didn’t count. -___-“”” anyway, Nicholas was being lame again.
Nicholas: *draws out a right angle triangle* find x.
Us: Use pythagoras’ theorem?
Nicholas: NO! *circles x* I said find x.
Us: -_____-“””
And after that we did this crossword puzzle together. It was all on soccer stuff and I have no idea at all. But it was funny la.
Friday: Chem Prelims Prac. In the morning, Yeeyan, Joyce, Serene and I went to school by Serene’s dad’s car. (we were in Shift 3) In AVA 1, everyone was pia-ing their chem. Prac notes. And when it was time to go in the lab, I had this bad feeling. But everything went well. Except for the test on gases. Some could test for carbon dioxide but my entire row couldn’t test for any gas at all!
No carbon dioxide, no chlorine, no sulphur dioxide, no oxygen, no hydrogen. K
And later in the day we suspected there’s something wrong with our limewater cos it’s not possible for the entire row not to be able to test for it right? Hopefully there IS something wrong so we can get our marks back.
Today: Piano.
Gotten back most papers from Common Test except history.
Random thing:
Ayu has new news!!! :D
Her new songs and new style are featured on PANASONIC LUMIX and D-SNAP D-DOCK commercials!
One ballad one rock song. Woohoo~
http://panasonic.jp/dc/gallery/cm/fx07_30sec/512k.html (Jewel featured)
Unconfirmed lyrics:
悲しく泣かないのに 涙が零れたのは
君の想いが痛い位に 僕の胸の奥の
傷跡に染み込んだ 優しさに変えてくれたから
http://panasonic.jp/compo/gallery/cm/512k.html (D-Dock featuring 1LOVE)
http://panasonic.jp/d-audio/gallery/cm/512k.html (D-Snap featuring 1Love)
And since it has been ages since I posted pictures, I shall share Ayu's new style. =)
Music: Kimi Dake Ni by Shounentai (yes this song is ancient. Like in the 80s. but it's still nice)
The night has the starry sky
The ocean has the wind
To embrace
But I was born
Only to embrace you
If I gaze at you, within my heart
Stars swirl into spirals, and turn into a galaxy
...because I love you
-Lyrics to Kimi Dake Ni
ok. ask me why I was in the slump for the past few days.
I'm not sure why, but I had huge fights with practically everyone in my family.
First was my mother, over some stupid issue about eating dinner or smthg like that.
Then it was with my sister, over using some shampoo.
You feel that everyone knows you and you know everyone, but suddenly, they just seem like strangers.
That's when you feel that everyone in your life is probably like this.
It's pretty sad isn't it? That it's perhaps impossible to find someone who truly knows you inside out, except yourself. It's lonely.
Alright, let me talk about the past week.
Mon:
Had history CT (last paper) and O 'lvl Eng Oral.
The eng oral was a killer. Every other class commented theirs was easy.
But ours was soo hard! And the examiners... they... haix.
I screwed up picture. Totally. I wasn't even sure what I was talking about. And I panicked.
Examiner: What do you think the woman on the right is feeling?
(she’s reading newspaper)
Me: Err.. she must have read some really bad news as she looks concerned and upset.
… It doesn’t make a single sense, does it? haha
They asked us really weird questions and some of us couldn’t even answer.
But at least FINALLY, it’s over.
Tuesday: I can’t really remember. But I guess it’s just normal school day.
Wednesday: Had PE. It was really fun! Most of the girls were playing netball together. And it was great! It’s probably the longest PE lesson we’ve had cos we played till 10.10 when our recess is at 10.00. There were some really hilarious parts. And at the last part, Pei Hua managed to score a goal. =)
Thursday: In the morning, Ivan, Darrel, Nicholas, Pei Hua, Serene and I were like trying to do this ‘Spot the Difference’ in the newspaper cos Ivan wanted to send it in to win a pair of shoes. Haha. They were hilarious and pointed out all the ridiculous differences. But serene, Joyce and I managed to find 3. haha. But they insisted the last one didn’t count. -___-“”” anyway, Nicholas was being lame again.
Nicholas: *draws out a right angle triangle* find x.
Us: Use pythagoras’ theorem?
Nicholas: NO! *circles x* I said find x.
Us: -_____-“””
And after that we did this crossword puzzle together. It was all on soccer stuff and I have no idea at all. But it was funny la.
Friday: Chem Prelims Prac. In the morning, Yeeyan, Joyce, Serene and I went to school by Serene’s dad’s car. (we were in Shift 3) In AVA 1, everyone was pia-ing their chem. Prac notes. And when it was time to go in the lab, I had this bad feeling. But everything went well. Except for the test on gases. Some could test for carbon dioxide but my entire row couldn’t test for any gas at all!
No carbon dioxide, no chlorine, no sulphur dioxide, no oxygen, no hydrogen. K
And later in the day we suspected there’s something wrong with our limewater cos it’s not possible for the entire row not to be able to test for it right? Hopefully there IS something wrong so we can get our marks back.
Today: Piano.
Gotten back most papers from Common Test except history.
Random thing:
Ayu has new news!!! :D
Her new songs and new style are featured on PANASONIC LUMIX and D-SNAP D-DOCK commercials!
One ballad one rock song. Woohoo~
http://panasonic.jp/dc/gallery/cm/fx07_30sec/512k.html (Jewel featured)
Unconfirmed lyrics:
悲しく泣かないのに 涙が零れたのは
君の想いが痛い位に 僕の胸の奥の
傷跡に染み込んだ 優しさに変えてくれたから
http://panasonic.jp/compo/gallery/cm/512k.html (D-Dock featuring 1LOVE)
http://panasonic.jp/d-audio/gallery/cm/512k.html (D-Snap featuring 1Love)
And since it has been ages since I posted pictures, I shall share Ayu's new style. =)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Source of my happiness?
Mood: I need enlightenment
Music: Tightrope ~Medieval Version~ from Saiyuki
I realize I view the world too seriously.
Maybe I should try to lighten up a bit. haha.
I'm those people who view a glass as half empty.
What's the source of your happiness?
Anyway, don't u realize that happy memories of everyone are those really trivial matters?
Like when I'm in school, fooling around with my frens, teasing one another, chasing people around, or just listening to guys crap nonsense. Those are the really happy memories that I have.
It's not something major. Or big event happening, but those that you'll forget if you don't go and think about it.
Just think about it.
We're living one more day, we're able to eat for one more day, we're able to see, walk, run, sleep, laugh, cry, work, breathe for one more day.
It makes me feel, how insignificant I actually am in this world.
there're so many ppl out there living in fear, pain.
And before we help others, we must first help ourselves.
So only when we love our life, love ourselves, can we reach out to the others and bring light to their lives.
:)
I'm not a noble person, nor am I very influential or rich or powerful,
but, that won't stop me from reaching out to others.
Happy memories. Actually all of us have. In our lives, we've had so many wonderful encounters with people and things.
We tend to forget.
Search your memories. Look deep into your heart, u'll find the happy memories you've had.
Naturally, it'll make u feel, that's what makes me wanna walk on. To create more happy memories.
That should be it, the way we all should look at life.
What's the source of my happiness?
Everyone, everything around me.
Everyone out there, thank you for being part of my memory. Even if we just brushed part each other, or we don't even know each other's name, even if we quarrelled before, somehow, you're part of my memory. And perhaps, we've shared a happy memory together. :)
I'm here because you were there.
:)
Music: Tightrope ~Medieval Version~ from Saiyuki
I realize I view the world too seriously.
Maybe I should try to lighten up a bit. haha.
I'm those people who view a glass as half empty.
What's the source of your happiness?
Anyway, don't u realize that happy memories of everyone are those really trivial matters?
Like when I'm in school, fooling around with my frens, teasing one another, chasing people around, or just listening to guys crap nonsense. Those are the really happy memories that I have.
It's not something major. Or big event happening, but those that you'll forget if you don't go and think about it.
Just think about it.
We're living one more day, we're able to eat for one more day, we're able to see, walk, run, sleep, laugh, cry, work, breathe for one more day.
It makes me feel, how insignificant I actually am in this world.
there're so many ppl out there living in fear, pain.
And before we help others, we must first help ourselves.
So only when we love our life, love ourselves, can we reach out to the others and bring light to their lives.
:)
I'm not a noble person, nor am I very influential or rich or powerful,
but, that won't stop me from reaching out to others.
Happy memories. Actually all of us have. In our lives, we've had so many wonderful encounters with people and things.
We tend to forget.
Search your memories. Look deep into your heart, u'll find the happy memories you've had.
Naturally, it'll make u feel, that's what makes me wanna walk on. To create more happy memories.
That should be it, the way we all should look at life.
What's the source of my happiness?
Everyone, everything around me.
Everyone out there, thank you for being part of my memory. Even if we just brushed part each other, or we don't even know each other's name, even if we quarrelled before, somehow, you're part of my memory. And perhaps, we've shared a happy memory together. :)
I'm here because you were there.
:)
Friday, August 18, 2006
Change 360 degrees!!~*
The previous entry just seemed so depressing that I decided to write another one to make up for the unhappiness. haha.
Was reading my archives just now. Lots of memories flooded my mind. I read about the many outings I had with my frens, the first day of school in 3o8, christmas parties etc etc...
Right now, we're also creating memories! =)
Alright.
Let me talk a little crap alright?
haha.
I feel like changing my image. like 360 degrees. (308 degrees? LOL)
Abandon my boring, ordinary image and become someone else.
Choices:
1. Spiky, short hair with ultra short sch skirt and long black backpack. The straps are so long, they are practically draggin on the floor. Kenna caught 78958 times by discipline mistress. Refuse to do any hw.
2. Long hair with ribbons, pink bag, pink pencils, pink pens, pink shoes, pink socks. Everything pink. Act cute style. Thick fringe.
3. Thick glasses, thick stacks of books, skirt length of a dress, shirt tucked in properly, short hair short fringe. Nerd style.
4. Wild hair. Short skirt, shirt tucked out. Messy stuff. Easy going. Happy-go-lucky style. ignores what everyone thinks about me.
5. Dark gothic. Mysterious. Black everything. Never smiles, never speaks. Walk awkwardly. oooo...
ALRIGHT.
I must have been staying up too late for too many nights due to common test.
you know, ppl's minds go all WHEEE when u stay up too late too many times.
hahaha. okok at least it sounds happier.
nevertheless, I feel I'll rather stay as I am now. =)
2
Was reading my archives just now. Lots of memories flooded my mind. I read about the many outings I had with my frens, the first day of school in 3o8, christmas parties etc etc...
Right now, we're also creating memories! =)
Alright.
Let me talk a little crap alright?
haha.
I feel like changing my image. like 360 degrees. (308 degrees? LOL)
Abandon my boring, ordinary image and become someone else.
Choices:
1. Spiky, short hair with ultra short sch skirt and long black backpack. The straps are so long, they are practically draggin on the floor. Kenna caught 78958 times by discipline mistress. Refuse to do any hw.
2. Long hair with ribbons, pink bag, pink pencils, pink pens, pink shoes, pink socks. Everything pink. Act cute style. Thick fringe.
3. Thick glasses, thick stacks of books, skirt length of a dress, shirt tucked in properly, short hair short fringe. Nerd style.
4. Wild hair. Short skirt, shirt tucked out. Messy stuff. Easy going. Happy-go-lucky style. ignores what everyone thinks about me.
5. Dark gothic. Mysterious. Black everything. Never smiles, never speaks. Walk awkwardly. oooo...
ALRIGHT.
I must have been staying up too late for too many nights due to common test.
you know, ppl's minds go all WHEEE when u stay up too late too many times.
hahaha. okok at least it sounds happier.
nevertheless, I feel I'll rather stay as I am now. =)
2
Change 360 degrees!!~*
The previous entry just seemed so depressing that I decided to write another one to make up for the unhappiness. haha.
Was reading my archives just now. Lots of memories flooded my mind. I read about the many outings I had with my frens, the first day of school in 3o8, christmas parties etc etc...
Right now, we're also creating memories! =)
Alright.
Let me talk a little crap alright?
haha.
I feel like changing my image. like 360 degrees. (308 degrees? LOL)
Abandon my boring, ordinary image and become someone else.
Choices:
1. Spiky, short hair with ultra short sch skirt and long black backpack. The straps are so long, they are practically draggin on the floor. Kenna caught 78958 times by discipline mistress. Refuse to do any hw.
2. Long hair with ribbons, pink bag, pink pencils, pink pens, pink shoes, pink socks. Everything pink. Act cute style. Thick fringe.
3. Thick glasses, thick stacks of books, skirt length of a dress, shirt tucked in properly, short hair short fringe. Nerd style.
4. Wild hair. Short skirt, shirt tucked out. Messy stuff. Easy going. Happy-go-lucky style. ignores what everyone thinks about me.
5. Dark gothic. Mysterious. Black everything. Never smiles, never speaks. Walk awkwardly. oooo...
ALRIGHT.
I must have been staying up too late for too many nights due to common test.
you know, ppl's minds go all WHEEE when u stay up too late too many times.
hahaha. okok at least it sounds happier.
nevertheless, I feel I'll rather stay as I am now. =)
2
Was reading my archives just now. Lots of memories flooded my mind. I read about the many outings I had with my frens, the first day of school in 3o8, christmas parties etc etc...
Right now, we're also creating memories! =)
Alright.
Let me talk a little crap alright?
haha.
I feel like changing my image. like 360 degrees. (308 degrees? LOL)
Abandon my boring, ordinary image and become someone else.
Choices:
1. Spiky, short hair with ultra short sch skirt and long black backpack. The straps are so long, they are practically draggin on the floor. Kenna caught 78958 times by discipline mistress. Refuse to do any hw.
2. Long hair with ribbons, pink bag, pink pencils, pink pens, pink shoes, pink socks. Everything pink. Act cute style. Thick fringe.
3. Thick glasses, thick stacks of books, skirt length of a dress, shirt tucked in properly, short hair short fringe. Nerd style.
4. Wild hair. Short skirt, shirt tucked out. Messy stuff. Easy going. Happy-go-lucky style. ignores what everyone thinks about me.
5. Dark gothic. Mysterious. Black everything. Never smiles, never speaks. Walk awkwardly. oooo...
ALRIGHT.
I must have been staying up too late for too many nights due to common test.
you know, ppl's minds go all WHEEE when u stay up too late too many times.
hahaha. okok at least it sounds happier.
nevertheless, I feel I'll rather stay as I am now. =)
2
Time is running out, I'm still lagging...~*
Current mood: CT's over soon. but I'm still not feeling any better.
Music: BOLD and DELICIOUS by AYUMI HAMASAKI
it's kinda weird i'm listening to this song (note: It's one of the songs I dislike)
yayayaya gagagaga dadadada wowowowo
BOOOOOLD and DELICIOUSSSSSS!!!!
(the lyrics to the song. I'm not exaggerating or anything. lol)
ok. anyway, I just simply miss this computer!
It has been 4885269853.4885 x cos (pi/4) years (haha yeeyan!) since I last come online, and feel the keyboard.
ok. Maybe not that long, but I do feel estatic when I turn on the computer.
Like, finally!!!
Anyway, I realized that the most important thing all of us must do to live is to learn to walk using our own two feet.
It's no point depending too much on others because no one can stay by you till eternity.
Someday, they'll leave you.
If you depend too much on others, when the day comes, you won't be able to walk on anymore.
It's sad, isn't it?
That all of us are truly alone.
We have to face the world alone.
Be independent.
ok. enough of such things.
Mon: It was Eng and HMT papers. gotten back our chinese result today. I believe everyone deproved? No? I sure did. And my results plunged. Pretty shocking, I guess. But I realized there's no way to improve chinese compre, is there?
Tues: Physics. Got it back too. Did pretty ok, I guess.
Wed: Chem and SS. NOOO. SS was a killer! I didn't have enough time to do my last question, which was a 13 mark killer question. I did write pretty much but there was no conclusion. It's sad, yeah. Did June 2006 O lvl paper for Chem Common test. At least it wasn't THAT tough.
Thurs: E Math and Elec Geog.
Sigh. E. geog was a horror. oh well.
Fri: A math.
I'm really really disappointed in myself for missing out so many things. I could get simple things wrong. What the hell am I doing? oh and Bio. (LOL)
Overall, it's depressing.
O levels is coming, and while everyone else is improving, my marks are plunging.
Will I be able to make it in the end?
While I walk on and on, I start to feel more tired day by day.
I feel I've walked too far out into the sea. I can't return, neither can I continue walking on anymore.
ARGH. The feeling of frustration.
I want so badly to dig out my brain and make it more efficent.
And actually, I feel that by labelling us as 'A students' will make us feel even more stressed.
Praising a person will make he/she feel that he/she is working for the sake of others, not herself/himself and to live under the pressure of consistently performing to meet expectations of others will make things worse.
I live for myself, not for anyone else.
That should be the attitude we all should have, isn't it?
Upcoming events:
Mon: History test plus O level Eng Oral
Fri: Prelims Chem Prac
Time is running out,
yet I'm still lagging behind.
Does hard work really pay off?
I feel like giving up.
Music: BOLD and DELICIOUS by AYUMI HAMASAKI
it's kinda weird i'm listening to this song (note: It's one of the songs I dislike)
yayayaya gagagaga dadadada wowowowo
BOOOOOLD and DELICIOUSSSSSS!!!!
(the lyrics to the song. I'm not exaggerating or anything. lol)
ok. anyway, I just simply miss this computer!
It has been 4885269853.4885 x cos (pi/4) years (haha yeeyan!) since I last come online, and feel the keyboard.
ok. Maybe not that long, but I do feel estatic when I turn on the computer.
Like, finally!!!
Anyway, I realized that the most important thing all of us must do to live is to learn to walk using our own two feet.
It's no point depending too much on others because no one can stay by you till eternity.
Someday, they'll leave you.
If you depend too much on others, when the day comes, you won't be able to walk on anymore.
It's sad, isn't it?
That all of us are truly alone.
We have to face the world alone.
Be independent.
ok. enough of such things.
Mon: It was Eng and HMT papers. gotten back our chinese result today. I believe everyone deproved? No? I sure did. And my results plunged. Pretty shocking, I guess. But I realized there's no way to improve chinese compre, is there?
Tues: Physics. Got it back too. Did pretty ok, I guess.
Wed: Chem and SS. NOOO. SS was a killer! I didn't have enough time to do my last question, which was a 13 mark killer question. I did write pretty much but there was no conclusion. It's sad, yeah. Did June 2006 O lvl paper for Chem Common test. At least it wasn't THAT tough.
Thurs: E Math and Elec Geog.
Sigh. E. geog was a horror. oh well.
Fri: A math.
I'm really really disappointed in myself for missing out so many things. I could get simple things wrong. What the hell am I doing? oh and Bio. (LOL)
Overall, it's depressing.
O levels is coming, and while everyone else is improving, my marks are plunging.
Will I be able to make it in the end?
While I walk on and on, I start to feel more tired day by day.
I feel I've walked too far out into the sea. I can't return, neither can I continue walking on anymore.
ARGH. The feeling of frustration.
I want so badly to dig out my brain and make it more efficent.
And actually, I feel that by labelling us as 'A students' will make us feel even more stressed.
Praising a person will make he/she feel that he/she is working for the sake of others, not herself/himself and to live under the pressure of consistently performing to meet expectations of others will make things worse.
I live for myself, not for anyone else.
That should be the attitude we all should have, isn't it?
Upcoming events:
Mon: History test plus O level Eng Oral
Fri: Prelims Chem Prac
Time is running out,
yet I'm still lagging behind.
Does hard work really pay off?
I feel like giving up.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
10 random things~*
Mood: hmmm... thoughtful
Music: A Song is Born by Ayumi hamasaki
What should I say?
This is gonna be a really mindless and stupid entry.
People who don't like mindless stuff can just skip this entry. haha.
Ok. here it goes:
Random 1:
I realize I can't live without eggs.
While eating an egg now, I can't help but feel if one day eggs are prohibited, I'm gonna knock my head against the wall.
I eat eggs cooked in many different ways.
Fried, boiled, with onion, with leek, with shrimp, hard boiled eggs, sunny side up, charred (=X), with char siew (o.O), steamed etc etc.
The only one I'm still trying to get myself to eat is perhaps RAW eggs.
It just makes me feel disgusted.
Random 2:
I realized that I wanna go back to the childish Jasmine.
The idiot who runs around, chasing other kids, screaming at the littlest thing, kicking branches and playing pranks on other kids.
The one who cries whenever she loses a game or pretend to be a teacher/mother and drawing all sorts of weird monsters which I called 'human' and scribbling illegible words.
hahaha. Yes. I like that version of me better.
Random 3:
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the sun no longer rises?
The first thing that came to my mind was 'No school???'
haha. Then it was 'we're all gonna die, aren't we?'
Seems like I've never liked school.
Actually, well, no. It's not that I never liked it, but the bad memories are created there too.
So naturally I feel the fear whenever I step inside a school.
Like 'Oh no, did I remember to bring my books?'
'Is Mrs XXX gonna scold me again?'
'Oh no... is there gonna be a lot of homework today??'
you can't really blame me for having slight phobia for school right? haha.
Random 4:
I used to think if I sat at the toilet bowl for too long, my intestines would fall out.
My mum tricked me into believing it. And I only figured out it was impossible to happen when I was in sec school.
Hey, it's not stupidity, but plain innocence OK.
Random 5:
Your body starts rotting at the age of 18.
That means I have two years b4 it starts rotting.
OH NO. My sister has been rotting for 3 years! hahaha.
Random 6:
Pigs are cute.
they really are!
Random 7:
Th lamest thing you can say is
'I've got nothing to say'
I figured that out with Ryan around 4 years ago. haha.
The next lamest thing to say is
'I'm sleeping'
haha.
Random 8:
Congrats! It's one more day we're alive!
Random 9:
I used to think the sky is part of earth.
Random 10:
YES! the last lame thing I'm gonna talk about!
Aren't you relieved?
okok. I just realized that you can add mayonnaise to practically everything.
I mean, ayu adds mayo to curry, so does Tsuyoshi.
I add mayo to potato wedges, bread, biscuits etc etc.
It's really alright, isn't it? Edible.
alright. I'm done! :D
Music: A Song is Born by Ayumi hamasaki
What should I say?
This is gonna be a really mindless and stupid entry.
People who don't like mindless stuff can just skip this entry. haha.
Ok. here it goes:
Random 1:
I realize I can't live without eggs.
While eating an egg now, I can't help but feel if one day eggs are prohibited, I'm gonna knock my head against the wall.
I eat eggs cooked in many different ways.
Fried, boiled, with onion, with leek, with shrimp, hard boiled eggs, sunny side up, charred (=X), with char siew (o.O), steamed etc etc.
The only one I'm still trying to get myself to eat is perhaps RAW eggs.
It just makes me feel disgusted.
Random 2:
I realized that I wanna go back to the childish Jasmine.
The idiot who runs around, chasing other kids, screaming at the littlest thing, kicking branches and playing pranks on other kids.
The one who cries whenever she loses a game or pretend to be a teacher/mother and drawing all sorts of weird monsters which I called 'human' and scribbling illegible words.
hahaha. Yes. I like that version of me better.
Random 3:
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the sun no longer rises?
The first thing that came to my mind was 'No school???'
haha. Then it was 'we're all gonna die, aren't we?'
Seems like I've never liked school.
Actually, well, no. It's not that I never liked it, but the bad memories are created there too.
So naturally I feel the fear whenever I step inside a school.
Like 'Oh no, did I remember to bring my books?'
'Is Mrs XXX gonna scold me again?'
'Oh no... is there gonna be a lot of homework today??'
you can't really blame me for having slight phobia for school right? haha.
Random 4:
I used to think if I sat at the toilet bowl for too long, my intestines would fall out.
My mum tricked me into believing it. And I only figured out it was impossible to happen when I was in sec school.
Hey, it's not stupidity, but plain innocence OK.
Random 5:
Your body starts rotting at the age of 18.
That means I have two years b4 it starts rotting.
OH NO. My sister has been rotting for 3 years! hahaha.
Random 6:
Pigs are cute.
they really are!
Random 7:
Th lamest thing you can say is
'I've got nothing to say'
I figured that out with Ryan around 4 years ago. haha.
The next lamest thing to say is
'I'm sleeping'
haha.
Random 8:
Congrats! It's one more day we're alive!
Random 9:
I used to think the sky is part of earth.
Random 10:
YES! the last lame thing I'm gonna talk about!
Aren't you relieved?
okok. I just realized that you can add mayonnaise to practically everything.
I mean, ayu adds mayo to curry, so does Tsuyoshi.
I add mayo to potato wedges, bread, biscuits etc etc.
It's really alright, isn't it? Edible.
alright. I'm done! :D
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hanabi~*
Mood: sian.
Music: Two of Us by Ayumi Hamasaki (an ancient song)
Two of Us
I was dreaming a happy dream that I was sleeping in your arms.
Then I woke up and noticed my loneliness, and started to cry.
The faded sofa, the 2 cup set,and the too-wide bed.
I'll get rid of them sometime.
It's not that I loved you because I wanted you to love me back.
Even though I knew, even though I slept alone,
The song we liked, the movie we saw,
Without forgetting, still somewhere
I was expecting them tomorrow.
Then I tried calling you just once.
The woman who answered had a nice voice.
Even the voice that calls your name, the fingers that stroke my hair,
the eyes that have become clear, are already far away.
Laughing together, bumping into one another,
together we believed. Now I'm alone.
I want to meet you once more. I can't meet you twice.
I understand. Nowhere can I expect anything.
It's not that I loved you because I wanted you to love me back.
Even though I knew, even though I slept alone,
The song we liked, the movie we saw,
Because I'll forget I'm
not expecting anything anywhere.
such a sad song isn't it?
Now listenin to Fly High 'H^L mix 2000'
This song makes me feel happy whenever I listen to it.
Anyway, yesterday Serene, Yeeyan, Joyce and I went to see fireworks at Esplanade.
Damn. It was fantastic! :D
Ok. let me talk about National Day celebration first.
Honestly speaking, I found it pretty boring.
At first, we sang the National Anthem while the band played.
Then we listened to speeches and recollections.
After that, we sang 'My people, my home'.
Then there was prize giving ceremony.
It was to award people who had good attendance in their CCA.
I didn't get it this time cos I already received 'Best CCA perfomer' award last time.
Serene, Zou Mei, Yun Tian, Bernice, Peiyu and Seen Yee got the award. ^^
Anyway, after that, we walked up to the hall.
Performances as follow:
1. Some weird show acted by some drama troupe
2. Who wants to be a millionaire?
3. Choir (YES! CHOIR!) and teachers leading some national day songs.
The guys in class pretended to be really enthu in the performances. LOL.
And the souvenir was a shoe bag.
It was ok, I guess.
And yubing was taking class video. lol. I totally embarrassed myself.
Anyway Joyce and I dumped shoebags at Darrel and it hit his face directly. hahaha.
yeah, I'm sadistic. ^^
After school, we had lunch at JEC. ran into Nicholas and Bernice.
Nicholas blue-tooth-ed this really horrible pic of me tugging on Si Aun's shirt to Zuhui.
it was all a misunderstanding! come on! Nicholas locked my lock on Si Aun's shirt la.
LOL.
Then we took pics and went home.
------------------- written on 9th Aug National Day-----------------
After that, we met at westmall to have dinner together before going to the esplanade.
Gosh. It was super crowded and we had difficulty walking through the crowd.
Finally, we reached Marina Square.
There was this really huge staircase and it was filled with people. O.O super crowded.
But we managed to find space to sit down. Then we started taking lots of photos.
haha. Using handphones and camera.
And we bought drinks and waited for the fireworks display to begin.
We started singing national day songs and I was harmonizing them. haha.
ok. anyway, the fireworks began.
Everyone cheered. Woots~! It was super super nice!
Took many videos. It was awesome!
At first Yeeyan and I were blocked by this really inconsiderate fellow.
We really had the urge to dump drinks all over his head. lol.
Finally, we decided to walk over next to him and look at the fireworks from there.
It was GREAT. Especially the last one.
The beauty of it is beyond words.
It was so touching and just.... fantastic. haha.
After that, we piled into Marina Square together with tons of people.
And we decided to dine at Billy Bombers american diner.
Lol. don't ask me what happened in there, but the four of us were laughing our heads off.
hahaha. And we started taking photos in there too.
And tell you, the cheese fries there rock. =)
After that Joyce had to go and Yeeyan, Serene and I went to see the Merlion.
Took some pics. And we decided to go home.
It was pretty late then already and my father was all ready to hack me.
By the time I reached home, it was 12 plus.
My dad was standing at the void deck, brandishing his knife.
I gulped. and the rest of the story should not be told, as it contains gory details.
LOL.
no la, i just got told off really harshly.
Anyway, yesterday was National Day.
It was like any other day.
Except that the NDP was not bad.
Both my schools performed.
Rulang and Nan Hua. Cool eh? =)
Anyway, after that while my mood was still good, I made some discovery and my mood plunged into the basement.
Somehow, I have never told this matter to anyone.
Except the people I would never tell. (eh?)
And I still don't plan to tell, because it's a problem with no solution.
Just that, if I die suddenly one day, don't panic.
I know my condition. I know my problem.
And after that really horrible discovery, I have sworn that I would not talk about death anymore.
Don't get what I mean? Think again. You guys know.
okokok stop stop...
It's only natural to die.
haha. okok.
Even if it's the end of the world
Even if people say with laughter that we are trying in vain
Let's go together
Because nothing is so fearful as giving up
I gently lock the memories away
Leaving them to be beautiful
This feeling, this feeling, go up into the sky
And be dispersed beautifully like a firework
-my feelings when I watched the fireworks. 'Hanabi' by Ayumi Hamasaki-
----------------------------------------------------------
edit: This NEW blogskin is created by Karen. It's really based on the old skin but it looks more CHEERFUL. looking into the sky. Hope. haha.
The feeling I have when I see this:
ok at first it looks like those propaganda posters in my hist textbook
bout praising the FYP bla bla. haha.
Cos those posters will have ppl looking into the sky, with captions saying 'Race towards the brighter future with Mao'
okok. anyway, after tt it reminds me of hope.
Like, whenever u look into the sky, what do you see?
I see different things whenever I gaze into the sky.
And this blogskin seems to say whenever I gaze into the sky, I see Ayumi.
-___-"" hahaha. no la. but i love it. it fits my mood. =)
Music: Two of Us by Ayumi Hamasaki (an ancient song)
Two of Us
I was dreaming a happy dream that I was sleeping in your arms.
Then I woke up and noticed my loneliness, and started to cry.
The faded sofa, the 2 cup set,and the too-wide bed.
I'll get rid of them sometime.
It's not that I loved you because I wanted you to love me back.
Even though I knew, even though I slept alone,
The song we liked, the movie we saw,
Without forgetting, still somewhere
I was expecting them tomorrow.
Then I tried calling you just once.
The woman who answered had a nice voice.
Even the voice that calls your name, the fingers that stroke my hair,
the eyes that have become clear, are already far away.
Laughing together, bumping into one another,
together we believed. Now I'm alone.
I want to meet you once more. I can't meet you twice.
I understand. Nowhere can I expect anything.
It's not that I loved you because I wanted you to love me back.
Even though I knew, even though I slept alone,
The song we liked, the movie we saw,
Because I'll forget I'm
not expecting anything anywhere.
such a sad song isn't it?
Now listenin to Fly High 'H^L mix 2000'
This song makes me feel happy whenever I listen to it.
Anyway, yesterday Serene, Yeeyan, Joyce and I went to see fireworks at Esplanade.
Damn. It was fantastic! :D
Ok. let me talk about National Day celebration first.
Honestly speaking, I found it pretty boring.
At first, we sang the National Anthem while the band played.
Then we listened to speeches and recollections.
After that, we sang 'My people, my home'.
Then there was prize giving ceremony.
It was to award people who had good attendance in their CCA.
I didn't get it this time cos I already received 'Best CCA perfomer' award last time.
Serene, Zou Mei, Yun Tian, Bernice, Peiyu and Seen Yee got the award. ^^
Anyway, after that, we walked up to the hall.
Performances as follow:
1. Some weird show acted by some drama troupe
2. Who wants to be a millionaire?
3. Choir (YES! CHOIR!) and teachers leading some national day songs.
The guys in class pretended to be really enthu in the performances. LOL.
And the souvenir was a shoe bag.
It was ok, I guess.
And yubing was taking class video. lol. I totally embarrassed myself.
Anyway Joyce and I dumped shoebags at Darrel and it hit his face directly. hahaha.
yeah, I'm sadistic. ^^
After school, we had lunch at JEC. ran into Nicholas and Bernice.
Nicholas blue-tooth-ed this really horrible pic of me tugging on Si Aun's shirt to Zuhui.
it was all a misunderstanding! come on! Nicholas locked my lock on Si Aun's shirt la.
LOL.
Then we took pics and went home.
------------------- written on 9th Aug National Day-----------------
After that, we met at westmall to have dinner together before going to the esplanade.
Gosh. It was super crowded and we had difficulty walking through the crowd.
Finally, we reached Marina Square.
There was this really huge staircase and it was filled with people. O.O super crowded.
But we managed to find space to sit down. Then we started taking lots of photos.
haha. Using handphones and camera.
And we bought drinks and waited for the fireworks display to begin.
We started singing national day songs and I was harmonizing them. haha.
ok. anyway, the fireworks began.
Everyone cheered. Woots~! It was super super nice!
Took many videos. It was awesome!
At first Yeeyan and I were blocked by this really inconsiderate fellow.
We really had the urge to dump drinks all over his head. lol.
Finally, we decided to walk over next to him and look at the fireworks from there.
It was GREAT. Especially the last one.
The beauty of it is beyond words.
It was so touching and just.... fantastic. haha.
After that, we piled into Marina Square together with tons of people.
And we decided to dine at Billy Bombers american diner.
Lol. don't ask me what happened in there, but the four of us were laughing our heads off.
hahaha. And we started taking photos in there too.
And tell you, the cheese fries there rock. =)
After that Joyce had to go and Yeeyan, Serene and I went to see the Merlion.
Took some pics. And we decided to go home.
It was pretty late then already and my father was all ready to hack me.
By the time I reached home, it was 12 plus.
My dad was standing at the void deck, brandishing his knife.
I gulped. and the rest of the story should not be told, as it contains gory details.
LOL.
no la, i just got told off really harshly.
Anyway, yesterday was National Day.
It was like any other day.
Except that the NDP was not bad.
Both my schools performed.
Rulang and Nan Hua. Cool eh? =)
Anyway, after that while my mood was still good, I made some discovery and my mood plunged into the basement.
Somehow, I have never told this matter to anyone.
Except the people I would never tell. (eh?)
And I still don't plan to tell, because it's a problem with no solution.
Just that, if I die suddenly one day, don't panic.
I know my condition. I know my problem.
And after that really horrible discovery, I have sworn that I would not talk about death anymore.
Don't get what I mean? Think again. You guys know.
okokok stop stop...
It's only natural to die.
haha. okok.
Even if it's the end of the world
Even if people say with laughter that we are trying in vain
Let's go together
Because nothing is so fearful as giving up
I gently lock the memories away
Leaving them to be beautiful
This feeling, this feeling, go up into the sky
And be dispersed beautifully like a firework
-my feelings when I watched the fireworks. 'Hanabi' by Ayumi Hamasaki-
----------------------------------------------------------
edit: This NEW blogskin is created by Karen. It's really based on the old skin but it looks more CHEERFUL. looking into the sky. Hope. haha.
The feeling I have when I see this:
ok at first it looks like those propaganda posters in my hist textbook
bout praising the FYP bla bla. haha.
Cos those posters will have ppl looking into the sky, with captions saying 'Race towards the brighter future with Mao'
okok. anyway, after tt it reminds me of hope.
Like, whenever u look into the sky, what do you see?
I see different things whenever I gaze into the sky.
And this blogskin seems to say whenever I gaze into the sky, I see Ayumi.
-___-"" hahaha. no la. but i love it. it fits my mood. =)
Monday, August 07, 2006
Walking on...~*
Mood: Just like my new blog layout.
current music: Serenade from Fruits Basket OST
A HUGE thank you to KAREN for changing my previously AYU-FILLED skin to this HOPELESSLY DEPRESSING skin.
haha. nice isn't it? It fits my mood, I guess.
Whenever I stare at this layout, I can't help but feel
Is there ever going to be an end to the road I'm walking?
Because sometimes, I just feel like giving up.
I'm searching for a place where I can rest.
I even tried to look back, to walk back to where I came from.
But I realized, that it's too late...
That's the feelings I get when I look at the blogskin.
Anyway, tml's National Day celebration.
:)
which means, NO SCHOOL. haha.
And it's gonna be a long long holiday.
tml's celebration, Wed is National Day and Thurs is sch hols too.
And fireworks! We're gonna see fireworks tml night. haha.
The last time I've seen fireworks was when I was... 11?
That's pretty sad, I guess.
haha. but I'll get to see them tml.
I could still remember last year's celebration.
It was all about cheering.
and my class went to Swensons afterwards and some of us even watched Seven Swords together.
haha. It's really amazing, isn't it?
In a blink of an eye, it's already one year later.
After Os, I guess I'm really gonna miss this school.
Every corner of this school just brings back countless memories.
Be it good or bad, they still make up the person I am today.
I could still remember the first time I stepped into the OLD CAMPUS.
Gosh, was I freaked. It just looked worn down and freaky.
And the first time I wore my school uniform.
My skirt was so long, it looked like a dress.
and the pins! yes the two horribly LARGE black clips on my hair! haha.
And of cos my hairstyle which resembled a doll.
I was so freakingly pale then.
haha.
Now that I look back at the younger me, I start to realize many things I didn't understand before.
I start to regret some things I've done.
But, oh well. I can't go back to the part to un-do those things, can I?
All I can do now is perhaps look forward.
Continue walking on, with my head held high.
Wipe away the tears every time I fall, stand up and smile to the world.
Eventually, I HOPE I'll end up somewhere.
My little prayer...
current music: Serenade from Fruits Basket OST
A HUGE thank you to KAREN for changing my previously AYU-FILLED skin to this HOPELESSLY DEPRESSING skin.
haha. nice isn't it? It fits my mood, I guess.
Whenever I stare at this layout, I can't help but feel
Is there ever going to be an end to the road I'm walking?
Because sometimes, I just feel like giving up.
I'm searching for a place where I can rest.
I even tried to look back, to walk back to where I came from.
But I realized, that it's too late...
That's the feelings I get when I look at the blogskin.
Anyway, tml's National Day celebration.
:)
which means, NO SCHOOL. haha.
And it's gonna be a long long holiday.
tml's celebration, Wed is National Day and Thurs is sch hols too.
And fireworks! We're gonna see fireworks tml night. haha.
The last time I've seen fireworks was when I was... 11?
That's pretty sad, I guess.
haha. but I'll get to see them tml.
I could still remember last year's celebration.
It was all about cheering.
and my class went to Swensons afterwards and some of us even watched Seven Swords together.
haha. It's really amazing, isn't it?
In a blink of an eye, it's already one year later.
After Os, I guess I'm really gonna miss this school.
Every corner of this school just brings back countless memories.
Be it good or bad, they still make up the person I am today.
I could still remember the first time I stepped into the OLD CAMPUS.
Gosh, was I freaked. It just looked worn down and freaky.
And the first time I wore my school uniform.
My skirt was so long, it looked like a dress.
and the pins! yes the two horribly LARGE black clips on my hair! haha.
And of cos my hairstyle which resembled a doll.
I was so freakingly pale then.
haha.
Now that I look back at the younger me, I start to realize many things I didn't understand before.
I start to regret some things I've done.
But, oh well. I can't go back to the part to un-do those things, can I?
All I can do now is perhaps look forward.
Continue walking on, with my head held high.
Wipe away the tears every time I fall, stand up and smile to the world.
Eventually, I HOPE I'll end up somewhere.
My little prayer...
Friday, August 04, 2006
Mood: wistful (?)
Current music: Yuki no hana by Nakashima Mika
(this song never fail to bring back lots of memories)
Everyone is born with a meaning to live.
That's certain.
However, after so many years of living, due to many factors, such as environmental and social changes, we've become blinded by so many things.
Greed. Selfishness. Yearn for fame.
So blinded, we fail to see our real meaning in living.
Soon, all we do is search aimlessly for the reason the live, not knowing that it has been, strangely, with us ever since the day we're born.
Sigh.
If only human beings can be a teeny weeny bit smarter.
Then again, being smart only causes us to have even more desires.
Urgh.
Ok. enough of all that. I promised to write about my daily life.
------ Written on 4th Aug. Stopped abruptly due to the sudden interference by my evil sister---
Continued on 5th Aug:
Yesterday:
Eng:
Did this compre on machines. Gosh. It's tough. The questions are set to kill.
Anyway, Mdm Zuraida's very angry at us for not bringing Comprehension Book One.
Sigh. We were told off by many teachers this week.
Perhaps it's due to stress? That Os is coming. *groans* dun remind me.
Phy:
LAB. haha. the first time in 3845 years. We had to do an experiment on springs, weights, water etc. It's supposed to be an experiment to find density.
Mr Peh showed us what a dynamo is, what an AC generator is (not you, yy. haha) and a transformer.
I was really impressed with the motor which runs on water. haha.
Anyway, Mr Peh's another teacher who told us off.
I can't blame him.
Chem:
We managed to convince Mrs Lim to start on periodic table instead of going through worksheets. =)
Anyway, she let us listen to this really really cool song on elements.
Gosh. I was truly impressed with the singer who was like blabbering on and on non stop the names of the elements.
Not sure if he actually sang out ALL the elements or not.
But it's a really cute song. haha.
http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html
Really impressive.
And feel free to sing along. (yeah right. as if we can. haha)
And guess what? it was written in 1955 but animated only recently.
Chinese:
slacked. Mdm Wang wasn't here today and asked us to do a compo on fairytales. To write stories on the impossible. lol. None of us did. Instead, we were revising on the math test later on. I was feeling so so so tired. Not sure why, but I didn't have much energy.
Felt like a living dead.
Lunch:
Didn't go down. Instead, we stayed in class and continued studying. Joyce Serene Yeeyan Angela were playing but I was simply too tired. Moodless.
Math:
Had math test and went through together.
Mrs Tan also sorta told us off. Cos many people didn't study hard for the math test.
It was on differentiation and integration on trigo functions.
Oh ya. Poor poor serene's sick. She's down with fever and thus was absent on Thursday.
Not only does she have fever, she also have cough, sore throat, flu. And she's voice-less.
poor poor her.
But we can take the opportunity to call her names and she can't respond. WAHAHA.
I'm mean (I'm average) HAHAHAHA!
ok enough. enough of lame jokes.
Serene: please take care of urself. drink 4 reservoirs of water if needed. And rest well! no more heaty food. haha. take care. I wanna see u well again with VOICE on mon.
Anyway, back to what I'm thinking about.
What can be the worst thing that can happen to you and your good friends?
that's when 2 good friends like the same guy.
That's when your selfish side will appear.
Seriously, I feel everyone of us is selfish.
We do care about ourselves the most, put ourselves on higher priority than others.
(well, that depends on what you mean by selfish)
Actually, everyone livin in this world is evil.
In one way or another, we do things that will not be approved of by others.
People who seem angelic to others are, perhaps, better at hiding their evil side.
Just like people who are prettier than others are good at hiding their flaws.
It's all about how u deal with ur flaws.
Alright. I feel I'm those kind of people who see no hope in human beings. haha. That's really just what I feel about people.
Distrusting the world. The people. Everything.
Who is the real you?
Happy.Sad.Angry.Frightened. Quiet. Gentle. Evil. Noisy. Chatty. Laughing. Crying. Curious.
the you you are in school. The you you are at home. The you you are when you're doing something. the you you are when you sleep. The you you are when you're playing. the you you are in front of your parents. the you you are in front of teachers. The you you are when you're alone. the you you are when you're with your friends.
WHO?
It's perhaps a question that will be left unanswered.
do you have an answer?
People who are mistrusting the world are all around us.
It all depends on whether you can identify them.
Simply cos their acting skills are perfect.
Why act? Why pretend to be someone else?
It just pains us more.
But we HAVE to. to survive. live in this ugly world.
Then again, all of us are just living dead when we're facing the world.
With no face. No identity.
Cos the real you is rotting. Rotting away till you can't even find it aleady.
crying is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign of strength.
To be able to show your emotions. To be able to be brave enough to face the world with all your emotions.
Laugh whenever I like, even when I'm walking on a street.
Cry whenever I like, even when i'm in a bus.
Yell, shout whenever I like, wherever I am, even when I'm in a shopping centre.
That's strength.
Don't be afraid to show the real you. To show the emotions screaming inside.
Don't care about what others think of you.
Easier said than done.
sigh.
Current music: Yuki no hana by Nakashima Mika
(this song never fail to bring back lots of memories)
Everyone is born with a meaning to live.
That's certain.
However, after so many years of living, due to many factors, such as environmental and social changes, we've become blinded by so many things.
Greed. Selfishness. Yearn for fame.
So blinded, we fail to see our real meaning in living.
Soon, all we do is search aimlessly for the reason the live, not knowing that it has been, strangely, with us ever since the day we're born.
Sigh.
If only human beings can be a teeny weeny bit smarter.
Then again, being smart only causes us to have even more desires.
Urgh.
Ok. enough of all that. I promised to write about my daily life.
------ Written on 4th Aug. Stopped abruptly due to the sudden interference by my evil sister---
Continued on 5th Aug:
Yesterday:
Eng:
Did this compre on machines. Gosh. It's tough. The questions are set to kill.
Anyway, Mdm Zuraida's very angry at us for not bringing Comprehension Book One.
Sigh. We were told off by many teachers this week.
Perhaps it's due to stress? That Os is coming. *groans* dun remind me.
Phy:
LAB. haha. the first time in 3845 years. We had to do an experiment on springs, weights, water etc. It's supposed to be an experiment to find density.
Mr Peh showed us what a dynamo is, what an AC generator is (not you, yy. haha) and a transformer.
I was really impressed with the motor which runs on water. haha.
Anyway, Mr Peh's another teacher who told us off.
I can't blame him.
Chem:
We managed to convince Mrs Lim to start on periodic table instead of going through worksheets. =)
Anyway, she let us listen to this really really cool song on elements.
Gosh. I was truly impressed with the singer who was like blabbering on and on non stop the names of the elements.
Not sure if he actually sang out ALL the elements or not.
But it's a really cute song. haha.
http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html
Really impressive.
And feel free to sing along. (yeah right. as if we can. haha)
And guess what? it was written in 1955 but animated only recently.
Chinese:
slacked. Mdm Wang wasn't here today and asked us to do a compo on fairytales. To write stories on the impossible. lol. None of us did. Instead, we were revising on the math test later on. I was feeling so so so tired. Not sure why, but I didn't have much energy.
Felt like a living dead.
Lunch:
Didn't go down. Instead, we stayed in class and continued studying. Joyce Serene Yeeyan Angela were playing but I was simply too tired. Moodless.
Math:
Had math test and went through together.
Mrs Tan also sorta told us off. Cos many people didn't study hard for the math test.
It was on differentiation and integration on trigo functions.
Oh ya. Poor poor serene's sick. She's down with fever and thus was absent on Thursday.
Not only does she have fever, she also have cough, sore throat, flu. And she's voice-less.
poor poor her.
But we can take the opportunity to call her names and she can't respond. WAHAHA.
I'm mean (I'm average) HAHAHAHA!
ok enough. enough of lame jokes.
Serene: please take care of urself. drink 4 reservoirs of water if needed. And rest well! no more heaty food. haha. take care. I wanna see u well again with VOICE on mon.
Anyway, back to what I'm thinking about.
What can be the worst thing that can happen to you and your good friends?
that's when 2 good friends like the same guy.
That's when your selfish side will appear.
Seriously, I feel everyone of us is selfish.
We do care about ourselves the most, put ourselves on higher priority than others.
(well, that depends on what you mean by selfish)
Actually, everyone livin in this world is evil.
In one way or another, we do things that will not be approved of by others.
People who seem angelic to others are, perhaps, better at hiding their evil side.
Just like people who are prettier than others are good at hiding their flaws.
It's all about how u deal with ur flaws.
Alright. I feel I'm those kind of people who see no hope in human beings. haha. That's really just what I feel about people.
Distrusting the world. The people. Everything.
Who is the real you?
Happy.Sad.Angry.Frightened. Quiet. Gentle. Evil. Noisy. Chatty. Laughing. Crying. Curious.
the you you are in school. The you you are at home. The you you are when you're doing something. the you you are when you sleep. The you you are when you're playing. the you you are in front of your parents. the you you are in front of teachers. The you you are when you're alone. the you you are when you're with your friends.
WHO?
It's perhaps a question that will be left unanswered.
do you have an answer?
People who are mistrusting the world are all around us.
It all depends on whether you can identify them.
Simply cos their acting skills are perfect.
Why act? Why pretend to be someone else?
It just pains us more.
But we HAVE to. to survive. live in this ugly world.
Then again, all of us are just living dead when we're facing the world.
With no face. No identity.
Cos the real you is rotting. Rotting away till you can't even find it aleady.
crying is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign of strength.
To be able to show your emotions. To be able to be brave enough to face the world with all your emotions.
Laugh whenever I like, even when I'm walking on a street.
Cry whenever I like, even when i'm in a bus.
Yell, shout whenever I like, wherever I am, even when I'm in a shopping centre.
That's strength.
Don't be afraid to show the real you. To show the emotions screaming inside.
Don't care about what others think of you.
Easier said than done.
sigh.
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