Tuesday, November 22, 2005
my parents are divorcing.
i'm bloggin about it cos i blieve there's really nthg to hide.
my father announced it to us when I was watching Ayumi's videos.
my sister cried. I didn't.
It's their choice about divorcing... especially since no matter how I look at this matter, no party is at fault. no party is right, as well. It takes 2 hands to clap.
I didn't cry on the spot. but it was the first time I felt my hands trembling continuously. It hurts. It feels as if your heart was shredded into pieces. I mean, I really felt that pain and emotion in me. It's not lyk when I fail a test or smthg and cry, but something which can really impact people and tear hearts apart.
I went back to my room after that and cried. I cried.
Thanks to all my dear frens who stood by me. I really appreciate the help and support u guys gave me and asked me to stay strong and take care. =)
I decided to be strong.
What hurts me the most is separation.
I dun wanna leave my father.
I dun wanna leave my mother.
I dun wanna leave my sister.
I dun wanna leave my house, my estate, maybe even my school, my frens, my everything.
But I'm going to stay strong.
It's inevitable.
So I must face up to it.
I have no say in anything. the judge will decide who i'll stay with when they divorce. if it's after o'level that they divorce, my sister can choose who to be with.
We'll definitely have to move out.
I noe my parents love me.
I love them too.
But... they just dun love each other.
Just now I realized the marriage cert was gone.
I wish... that it can be delayed till after o'level...
I hope life can continue as normal.
I felt as if life has come to an end yesterday... as if it's really the end for me.
but I looked on the bright side.
what can crying the whole day and locking urself in ur room help?
I'm going out today.
I'm going to be strong.
I can't promise a laughter
or a genuine smile
or the usual chirpy and cheerful me
or the lame, crappy person i was
since this matter really changed me...
but, i'll promise to mend my shredded heart... =)
Thanks, my frens. u guys are simply wonderful... =)
To all ppl reading this blog, please remember to cherish the ppl around you... u will nvr noe when they're gone. =)
12:51 AM