No mood to write if nt fer Karen who keeps pesterin me to write. haha. =P jkjk.. anw, now using msn n listenin to mandarin songs. u noe? tge 'Love Stories' album borrowed frm the ultimate Joyce. haha. very very nice songs inside.

Very sian leh. nthg to do de. 9 days to SYF leh.. urgh. very very very nervous le. haiz. these days dun wanna write down wat happened la. too sian.
1.Nicholas is extremely lame.
2.We got D for cleanliness. yay. lolx.
3.Mr Lai is better than Ms Foo. tons better. at least he dun ask us to squat to sing.
4.Mr Thomas (nt the nhss de. lolz) is very funny n fun. hehez. altho very paiseh tt we haf to sing one by one. but nt bad. quite fun. haha. he's nice. =)
5.I DUN lyk bernice lor. haha. kept teasin me de. oso dunno where she get all those saliva from. hahaz. =P
6.Choir rox mre n mre now. we're mre united ever since the exchange wif CCHS. =)
7.Mrs Wong grew nicer le. dun gif a lot of hw. hahaz.
8.Maths n Chem has become my top 2 more tired lessons. really. I omoz slept in maths leh. haha.
9.Many projs comin up! Maths proj. better do smthg bout it.
10.Life sux lyk anything. urgh.
11.Twisties rox
12.Ayumi's new song is 'Step on u'
13.Watched the 'Ayumi countdown tour 2004-2005' wuah seh. cool until dunno wat to say.
14.Still miss grandma... badly.
15.Yi Liang's funny lor! 24/7 dling animes. LOL
16.Fruit basket 16 coming out le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 watitin 4 the chuangyi one. the other version came out le. haha. but waitin. now gt change will check comic store. soooo happy!
17.Pei Rong grew much cheery le. so happy!
18.completed CME proj! oh yay. we rox.
19.dug a photo taken with I was 3. took with my sis, 8, n yi liang, 6 wif grandma, 75. haha. luffed still stomachache. we were blowin candles together. =) great memories...
20.still kenna teased la.

ok, tt's bout all. nthg to say le. won elaborate. haha. tomolo got ORAL TEST!!! Shit la. fri gt E maths n hist test. URGH...

Joke provided by Nicholas:
Qn: Wat do u call a xiao huang ya(yellow ducking) being knocked down by a car?
Ans:huang gua.(cucumber) (cos the huang ya screamed ,"GUA!!!")

No mood to write if nt fer Karen who keeps pesterin me to write. haha. =P jkjk.. anw, now using msn n listenin to mandarin songs. u noe? tge 'Love Stories' album borrowed frm the ultimate Joyce. haha. very very nice songs inside.

Very sian leh. nthg to do de. 9 days to SYF leh.. urgh. very very very nervous le. haiz. these days dun wanna write down wat happened la. too sian.
1.Nicholas is extremely lame.
2.We got D for cleanliness. yay. lolx.
3.Mr Lai is better than Ms Foo. tons better. at least he dun ask us to squat to sing.
4.Mr Thomas (nt the nhss de. lolz) is very funny n fun. hehez. altho very paiseh tt we haf to sing one by one. but nt bad. quite fun. haha. he's nice. =)
5.I DUN lyk bernice lor. haha. kept teasin me de. oso dunno where she get all those saliva from. hahaz. =P
6.Choir rox mre n mre now. we're mre united ever since the exchange wif CCHS. =)
7.Mrs Wong grew nicer le. dun gif a lot of hw. hahaz.
8.Maths n Chem has become my top 2 more tired lessons. really. I omoz slept in maths leh. haha.
9.Many projs comin up! Maths proj. better do smthg bout it.
10.Life sux lyk anything. urgh.
11.Twisties rox
12.Ayumi's new song is 'Step on u'
13.Watched the 'Ayumi countdown tour 2004-2005' wuah seh. cool until dunno wat to say.
14.Still miss grandma... badly.
15.Yi Liang's funny lor! 24/7 dling animes. LOL
16.Fruit basket 16 coming out le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 watitin 4 the chuangyi one. the other version came out le. haha. but waitin. now gt change will check comic store. soooo happy!
17.Pei Rong grew much cheery le. so happy!
18.completed CME proj! oh yay. we rox.
19.dug a photo taken with I was 3. took with my sis, 8, n yi liang, 6 wif grandma, 75. haha. luffed still stomachache. we were blowin candles together. =) great memories...
20.still kenna teased la.

ok, tt's bout all. nthg to say le. won elaborate. haha. tomolo got ORAL TEST!!! Shit la. fri gt E maths n hist test. URGH...

Joke provided by Nicholas:
Qn: Wat do u call a xiao huang ya(yellow ducking) being knocked down by a car?
Ans:huang gua.(cucumber) (cos the huang ya screamed ,"GUA!!!")

My current mood:

Winding road



Like a bird that forgot how to fly
I forgot how to walk
And ran and ran

Now I look back on the road
Which I feel
Both long and short

Yes, this is the road I chose

(*) The footprints I left behind
Are distorted and muddy
But I don't regret them at all
I'm proud of them from the bottom of my heart

Yes, this is the road I chose

(*) repeat

I can't live along well as before
I'm not so tactful
But one thing I can tell you is
I keep on going this way with my head held high

A bird that forgot how to fly
Will be able to flap its wings once again
Just as I could start walking again

Addition by Jasmine:
I'm not smart.
I'm not alert.
I'm not noble.
wat I can do now is to shout out loud.
Shout out loud that no matter now winding the road is
how slippery
how rocky
I'll walk on no matter what.

I'm just a nobody. Being nobody is enough...

11days to syf choir. shit.

Ok, I admit I've gotten over it le. It all seems like a dream... but more of a nightmare. U feel the emptiness but u forget it all so quickly... ok.

My grandmother passed away on 17 March 2005.

1st day:
My mum received a phone call n ya I was woken up. My mum was practically screamin into the phone. I can sense smthg wrong already. I was brushin teeth halfway den my dad woke up n my mum told him. he went, "HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!" Den, I was so stunned n went back to my rm n cried while changin in choir T. Ate breakfast in sadness n silence. den went to choir n cried on the way. Not those loud kinds. it's in silence. Had to go choir. Met Yuntian n Bernice to clean up music rm. but no need le. so we 'camped' outside music studio n chatted. Acted nthg happened. Still joked n played wif them. den after choir went buy yuntian's present. den went home n mum n dad told me n sis no need go funeral today. okz. so i watched tv. had to get my mind off it...

2nd day:
went to stupid chinese seminar which is lessons on stage in audi. Was so stunned. anw, after all those crap stuffees, went causeway pt lib all these places with serene, joyce n yy. yea. den met my sis there den she treated me to MOS burger. bought giodano frenship bands. yea. den we journeyed to funeral in admiralty. took bus there. we were very very xtremely late but no one noticed. den rushed upstairs to change into this white T-shirt n pinned the blue n red cloth on my sleeve n changed into my jeans. den rushed downstairs and prayed to grandma n looked at her in the coffin. den went to sit down n me, my sis, Yi Liang n Wei Long, Chen Cai, Junjie, Jia Yong chatted together on a table. had very much fun. me n sis only female. lolx. saw qianru upstairs eatin n we waved n smiled at each other. Junhong forever acting cool one. lolx. saw most of my relatives n we chatted wif one another. My fav part was the chattin with weilong, 23yrs, n yi liang, 17 yrs old. Yi Liang's handsome can? very. haha. NP one. now in ACJC. veri li hai one. he's very tall lor, like weilong liddat. 175 plus cm. pro.

after chattin, a whole bus of ppl dressed in black came. we were very curious. well, they came to pray 4 my grandma. so we all took off our shoes n stood on the mat. I was next to my sis. den guys in front girls bhind. we were surrounded by the ppl n we were given books. den we read n chanted all these. den passed joss sticks, walked around coffin bla bla bla. many aunts cried. haiz... kneeled n stood, kneeled n stood, sat n stood, sat n kneeled... yea. den ended after an hr plus liddat den we chatted again. jus the 4 of us den yi liang had to go home le. weilong stayin to shou ye here. very filial... den we rushed upstairs n changed into our clothes n took cab home. Sad...

3rd day:
Had choir exchange programme den it was horrible. really. haiz. dun wanna talk bout it. den rushed home to prac piano. den rushed out nt changed to piano to perform. haiz. dun talk about performance oso. i rushed like siao. 30 sec plus completed. lolx. den rushed home did some hw den me, dad n sis set off to funeral. we were late terribly. Dad was flarin at my sis, cos she took ages to change. haiz. den on the way my sis refused to talk to dad. haiyo... den I tok to sis till we both go nuts. very thirsty. den went there realized started the prayer session. was so horrified, we ran upstairs to change into white Tshirt n jeans den rushed down to join the prayer. den me, sis, weilong n yi liang chatted together again. it was nice chattin. tt day prayer was the monks, nt those in black. den we chatted about anime n joked bout weilong's hair. hahahaz. yi liang's hair very nice, like those jap guys one. hehez. den cos there was no table, so we dragged 4 chairs n sat in a circle. very funny. cos others all got table. den wl say nvm, cos we're jus lackin a table. den yl went up to wash feet n took 30 mins liddat. siaoz. den we joked about it cos he as waitin 4 his mum. haha. den we prayed, talked, prayed, talked, drank, ate, talked, prayed. bla bla bla... and my 2nd aunt asked me to join my cousin's music industry n be a singer. HAHAHA. I rejected. twice le lehz. my cousin's singer ma. u noe, Dream FM? den talked till very long n went home in cab with 3rd aunt cos she live very far. so slept at our hse.

4th day:
Tis is the worst day. we set off. Late. nvm bout tt. we didnt talk at all. dad entertained his relatives. it was morning. 4 of us chatted again. crap all those. drank water. den one old lady went to coffin n cried... n almost fainted. had to be carried away... den we started feelin sad. wl told us he cried at chantin session. anw, the orchestra arrived n we prayed one last time. almost everyone cried, even uncles. den we lit joss sticks. last time offer to her. looked at her. prayed a extra long prayer. den separate into guys n girls one side. walked, prayed, sang. the stupid orchestra played 'yue liang dai biao wo de xing' den I cun hold back tears. den we drank water n everyone very sad. den chatted a while. it was time to g to crematorium le.

This sux. we walked behind the males n mum cried very heavily. Was so heartwrenching sight. everyone didnt talk n almost everyone cried. sat in xue ling's car n went to crematorium. gt air con. veri high tech. went to waitin rm den prayed last time. everyone was cryin le. denw ent viewin hall den my mum cried very very very heavily. everyone cried when the coffin was sent to furnace. we saw it with our own eyes. cried like mad. den went downstairs to drink water n comfort mum. went back to the funeral there. ate lunch with yl, wl n sis n their family there. vegetarian. ate in silence. den yl smsed me a very touchin sms. den we talked for a bit cos everyone all no mood. den went home le. haiz...

To Grandma: Miss you forever. may u be happy forever k? Love you... Rest in peace. Smilez always! Cheeeeerz! Will visit u soon de, kkz? wait for me arh! hahahaz. =D ur beloved granddaughter...

To mum: dun sad le... relax. I bet she's very happy now. wanna bet? okI bet one mth's allowance with u. =) cheer up. she wun wanna see us cry de. so smilez always. Take Care. Love u much!!!

To Jess (my sis): act brave. act strong. stupid la. hahaz. noe u'll cry de. hahaha. ok dun cry horz. cheerz. but lemme use com mre often can?!?!

To Dad: k,I noe u'll nvr cry in ur life. wahahahaz. kk. cheer up la. no need so sad de rite? frown later go bald, rite? lolx.

Who...
Lyrics: Ayumi Hamasaki
Composer: Kazuhito Kikuchi
Arranger: Naoto Suzuki


Dedicated to my dearest Grandmother... forever n ever the smiling lady in my heart..
Uh - la la la...

When I was heartbroken, who stayed by my side?
On whose shoulder did I shed my tears?
With whom did I share my joy?
With whom did I hold hands?
I remember.

On the night we spent apart
The moon was far away and I was crying.
On the night we spent apart
The moon was far away and I was crying.

Who taught me true strength?
Who taught me kindness?
On whose account do I walk?
Who did I want to stroke my hair?
Who didn't give up for me?
I'll never forget.

When I stray from the path, and
When the path is too long,
I was muttering to myself.
That's the way life is...

I pray that this singing voice
will reach you...
I pray that this singing voice
will reach you...

I pray that this singing voice
will reach you...
I pray that this singing voice
will reach you...

ha-a-a-

Grandmother, you rox. You're my angel. My grandmother, my guardian angel, my shining moonlight who guides me in the dark....

Meaningless day. haiz. gonna pia homework today. but surely will slack de. haha. tis morn woke up and ate breakfast of 2 butter buns which tasted like crossaints. and blackcurrant with aloe vera juice. yummy. haha. ate breakfast while watchin Channel Newsasia. so sianz. den watched Sesame Workshop or wateva tt is. haha. den used com n chatted with my dear fren Karen n Siong aik. lolx. was so sian. Now listening to T=Bolan's 'hanashitaku wa nai' very nice song. look wat a wide range of songs i listen to. haha. tis song is like erm... 10 yrs ago? jap oldies. hahaz.

Gonna rain today. but who cares? My fever's gone. woohoo. so happy. *runs around* no need to feel so drowsy n slpy every single second. yesterday was horrible x 10 to the power 100000 can? Had to slp very frequent. wanted to do hw but do halfway felt like slping. watched tv n ended up with headache. den lunch. haiz. no appetitite. look! I'm healthy n kickin now le! haha. sooo happy! but today's homework day. urgh. so sian. guess i dun even need to go out with frens tis hols. sux big time.

My sis was like pesterin me to look at her presentation on 'Gothic Lolitha'. I insisted dun wan n locked myself in the rm. haha. I'll gif anythin to listen to her present. wahahaha. dun kill me, sista.

Now listenin to another oldies Mr Children's 'Dakishimetai'. tis rox. sound very christmassy. almost can picture snow fallin down. sighzzzzz. Ayumi's fav song last time for her 'main'. anw, yesterday chatted on hp for 1+ hour with kaisheng n kah jun about maths proj. lolx. got brain cancer. n chatted for so long ended up with nthg. I dun particularly like kah jun, esp since he cant figure out who's Jasmine after so long. stooooopid sia. me n ks talked to him 4 so long almost wanted to kill ourselves. he's soooooo lame. urgh. very cold. but it was fun. haha.

Anyway, jus very curious about who Chris is. lolx.. no other meanin. jus wanna find out who Chris is. =) A very nice person who is willin to tag me. thank ya loads. Cheers.

Now helpin Karen search for skins. hehez. found few very nice de. but dun suit her very well. haha.

Okiez la, dun wan type le. my hand ache. lolx. okok. now listenin to Boa's 'My Prayer'. nice song.

Cheeeeeeeeers!

To Karen: Sorry cant make it today. noe u very understandin de. haha. Remember Junk n Mericuri? u noe de la.. haha. I promise will go out with u one day. *cross my heart* haha. so stay happy n cheery forever! =D

hols's here. nt happy at all. hw, cca etc... haiz.
Dun feel like living anymre. serious.
worse still, now fever. cant go anywhere, do anything.
listenin to 'stairway to heaven'. u noe? the song many ppl listened n committed suicide? haiz.
relax, i wun commit suicide de. cos heard ppl who commit suicide wun b able to reincarnate.
My life's miserable. Very miserable.
They dunno about it. they dunno wat it feels like to be so depressed. ppl out there, i mean. i dun understand. anything. y mus the world be filled with so much desperation n unhappiness? (now listenin to 'Frozen' by madonna)
Nvm. some ppl r heartless. dey inflict pain but dunno bout it. i wanna say. but there's an obstacle in my heart.
ppl r malicious n miserable. they're weak n fragile. every1 of us. jus tryin to hide our weakness. we pretend. we act.
Life's wonderful. how can ppl say that? ppl lie. lie to themselves.
sarcasm, perhaps.
wateva. I couldn't care more.

tink my fever is risin. i'm blabberin nonsense.

Continued at 12.35pm when my fever dropped frm 38 to 37.4
Anyway, wat do u tink of my new layout? nice? hahaz. I love it k. fits my mood jus rite... =) I love the backgrnd music. it's 'Forbidden Love' frm the jap drama, rmb? fits the layout oso... hahaz. I did tis myself k? lolx...

Urgh. My life sux can? haiz... Sooo much hw to do durin this utterly short hols. stupid la. den still muz go back 2 sch 4 days... still got the stupid maths project, chinese skit, ss invention thingy n CME proj which mdm sia forgot to tell us about. haiz... still gt 3 days of choir. n one exchange programme at chung cheng high. gosh. let's diu lian bahz. n mon theres this seminar... mayb stay back to do maths proj. URGH. my life's miserable lor.

can commit suicide le. jus rmb piano I HAVE TO PERFORM ON NXT SAT. playin the De Tarantella thingy. sucky. is really perform in frnt of people lor. an audience. ahhh. Theory haven do yet. lemme die.

SYF comin le. our date is 7th April Thursday at 9.45. mus report at 6.45 4 warmups. sai la... stupid grr wans us to run laps b4 warmin up our voices. wat kinda thing is tis?! still haven receive our gowns yet...

I hate hols. it sux... n jus back frm piano... today earlier. n guess wat. I had to search high n low in CCK library to find 'Mr Wing', my most most most fav book of Jimi. he rox k? I read about all his books le. From the 'Xiang zuo zou xiang you zou (Turn left, turn rite. ya the movie), 'Di xia tie' (sound of colours. the movie oso, 'Bu guo de shi jie (Porqoise)', '1,2,3 mu tou ren' etc.. very very very nice lor. N heng tis time can use his books to do book review. cos I only read his chinese bks. tt's all. lolx. my fav is still 'Mr Wing (xing yun er)' very touchin. n meaninful...

Haven start on hw yet.. haiz. no mood la. tot tis hols can relax... but instead it's stresser.

Can I die? haiz...


POWDER SNOW
Lyrics: Ayumi Hamasaki
Composer: Yasuhiko Hoshino
Arranger: Yasuhiko Hoshino


I want to be left alone.
I want to escape to a place where no one knows me.
That I'm wrong about that, that it's my fault,
is all my heart has. I don't need tomorrow.

Can I cry as much as I want to? Until my tears wither away.
The white snow flows and muffles my tears.
Please help me.

I don't have even one regret.
I've always been living in the present
So that I don't leave even a single trace or footprint,
The candle melts down, this light is extinguished.

Can I scream at the top of my lungs? Until my voice withers away.
The white snow will forgive me for everything.
Please.

I spread my arms wide. I just want to gather the shining snow.
But why? It's so fleeting...

Can I cry as much as I want to? Until my tears wither away.
The white snow flows and muffles my tears.

Can I scream at the top of my lungs? Until my voice withers away.
The white snow will forgive me for everything.

Can I cry as much as I want to? Until my tears wither away.
Can I shout loudly? Until my voice withers away.

Can I cry as much as I want to?
Can I scream at the top of my lungs?
Until the snow stops.


when ayu sings live. sooo pretty. =)

kawaii.

okok. i'm gettin addicted to tis. =D

okok. enuff le. =D

Finally blogging le!!! hahahaz... actually these days very sian lor.. really flunk my common tests real badly. never been so poor in my studies before de... Can die le... My parents sure say me one.. drop so much lor. Average A drop to B lor.. and somemore fail 2 subjs (nt countin combined humans)... failed A maths by 0.5 marks n failed Eng by 1 mark lor.. for elec geog is like everyone failed except 3 ppl.. and our class failed totally..haha. so cham. the rest like B or A de..
English: fail la... dun wanna say
A maths: fail by 0.5 marks.
E maths: 70
Chinese: 60
Elec geog: failed by 1.5 marks
Social Studies: 70
Pure History: 73.3
Chemistry: 78
Physics: 73

very extreme lor.. either A or fail. what the.. den average very cham oso.. haiz. life's miserable lor.. URGH. these days had no news of Ayumi.. oso dunno wat she doin now except the stupid copncert. but since she's singing 'Winding Road' as the last song, guess I'll like the concert. haha.

Luv 3o8 lots.. esp when we sat in index number. very very fun! me sat with Cindy n Yubing.. den very funny cos keep laughing de.. haha. dey're very cute! and i like tease Cindy by touchin her leg n she'll scream n luff.. very funny. haha. den Zuhui oso.. CHAO lame de.. hahaha. den still got Angela, the blur queen who suddenly say irrelevent thingys de.. haha. n Jia Yi, very frenly n nice de.. haha. Kathy very siao n keep callin me Sashimi n Pei Hua, the Eng pro. haha. they 2 very noisy de.. tok non stop. haha. Wee Sze oso very funny de.. haha we share our troubles of failin 3 subjs.. haiz. haha. but we comfort each other. lolx. Weina oso!! very very funny! hahaha.. cute gurl. =)

Of cos, still got my old frens, Serene, Yeeyan, Joyce, Pei Rong n Valencia.. dey rocks man. haha. very very very very nice bunch of ppl.. rox totally. 3 yrs le... n will b forever. hahaz.

Now listning to Surreal. Ayumi de. tokin to my cousin. haha. very sian ma. A maths hw still haven do.. slack la.. lolx.

Sharing my name's WOMEN. Very cool song. about women rights and feelings. very powerful song.

my name's WOMEN

I like glittering things and pretty things
As much as before
But being cool and being tough
Have become more important lately

(*) You see? Times have changed so much
But why do I still hear such words as
"Tears are women's weapons"?

(**) We don't cry easily
We are not always coquettish
We are not dolls
Who are only dressed-up

(***) We have our weak sides
We are not always smiling
Don't forget
That we don't exist to be convenient for you

Though it's certain
I have a pain in my chest on some nights

It might be true
The more one experiences sufferings
The more he can be tender and strong

(****) Do you think you have controlled everything
With a knowing look?
We are not dolls
Who are only dreaming

(*****) Do you think you have cheated us well
With a satisfied look?
Do remember
That we are not such simple beings

(*) repeat
(**) repeat
(***) repeat
(****) repeat
(*****) repeat